If The Star had been published from the beginning of time, here – adapted from the web – are the front page headlines:

Gondwanaland – big break-up continues

Huge meteor – it’s curtains for dinosaurs

Man created from dust – gets open hunting licence

Second person made from first person’s rib. Both ‘doing well’

Big trouble in Eden – Eviction order follows

Abel dead – Cain indicted

Mideast floods – man aged 620 in massive animal rescue

Moses back with 10-point plan – |adultery out

Small boy slays Goliath – says ‘I just used a pebble’

Shock verdict – Solomon orders ‘cut child in half’

Caesar conquers Gaul – Britons falling back on all fronts

Three Mideast kings claim Messiah arrived

Genghis Khan advances – Europe |falls

Marco Polo returns with Sino-Venetian trade pact

Genoese navigator claims world is round

Columbus back – found India west of Portugal

Nguni Lake refugees pour into South Africa

French burn girl rebel, 19, at stake

Dutch arrive at Cape to grow fruit & veggies

Starving French told to ‘eat cake’

Heads roll in Paris

Mzilikazi’s Zulus sack northern territories

Dutch trek north after ‘verdamde Brit’ slur

The rest is history.

STARTLING STARLINGS

What is the longest common English word that remains a common word even after removing one letter at a time? That was the question a reader asked.

The word was “startling” – nine letters long. It reduces to starling, staring, string, sting, sing, sin, in, and I.

This set Margate Lumley of Farrarmere, Benoni, off. She was determined to find another and she did. The word was “abridgers”.

Okay, it’s not a common word, but it’s not rare either.

It breaks down to:

Abridger, abridge, bridge, bride, bide, bid, bi and I.

Mensans – does a longer word exist?

WELL, SINCE YOU ASKED

A friend tells me of a stockbroker who was filling out a job application when he came to the question: “Have you ever been arrested?” He wrote: “No”.

The next question, intended for those who answered with a “Yes”, was “Why?”

The stockbroker wrote: “Never got caught.”