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March 15 2013 at 10:34

Be vigilant when cold Amelia is in your bed

We have now reached stage four in Stoep Talk’s course, “S*x for the Extremely Shy”. Or, rather, you have.

And, you’ll recall from last week that you and Amelia had just left the cinema.

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March 18 2013 at 10:31

Why pick on dogs? They’re so easy to talk to

President Jacob Zuma’s comments on white people and their dogs and how some “young Africans” are now buying pets to emulate them were interesting.

“Spending money on buying a dog, taking it to the vet and for walks belongs to white culture,” he insisted. Black people, he said, should stop adopting the habits of other cultures.

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March 11 2013 at 11:08

Donkey in my burger is better than chemicals

‘Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting, Lizard’s leg, and howlet’s wing…”

It was just another day at the hamburger plant.

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March 8 2013 at 05:55

When it comes to holding hands, be in the dark

Young people, if you’ve been paying attention you will by now have reached stage three in my course, “S*x for the Extremely Shy”. If you haven’t, it serves you right.

You are now with your girlfriend in the cinema and as you take your seat, and your arms touch, you may experience a strange sensation – like electricity between you. You may even see little sparks. This is static and it means one of you is wearing something synthetic. The situation is avoided by tying your car keys to a long piece of string so they drag along the ground, thus earthing you.

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February 18 2013 at 10:12

Enthusiasm for a job shouldn’t go un(spell)checked

There are times in life when you have to choose your words carefully: when pulled over by a traffic officer for instance or when you are very late home and your wife is behind the door with a rolling pin. But especially when writing a letter seeking a job or writing your CV.

Some time back I suggested schools pay more attention to helping school-leavers write letters, especially when applying for a job and how some applicants try, usually with deadly effect, to be too clever. I quoted an example:

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