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February 8 2013 at 10:20

How about some phoney regard for the caller?

I wonder how much of our lives we waste listening to machines delivering apologetic messages saying: “All our agents are currently busy”? Sometimes it’s Telkom. Sometimes it’s the bank and, quite often, it’s my medical aid scheme.

They all use machines that monotonously crank out the same old message.

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February 4 2013 at 11:08

Like the non-native plants, I am here to stay

South Africa has a fairly recent law prohibiting the planting of alien trees. Personally, I think it’s far too wide in its scope. Why, at this stage, ban the planting of such handsome trees as non-invasive jacarandas and oaks?

This is why I was pleased to read an e-mail written by a retired teacher (who wishes to be anonymous) to a garden club member who supports the eradication of non-indigenous trees.

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January 14 2013 at 10:51

So anyway, there were these dinosaurs, see…

There was a light-hearted article in last month’s international Mensa journal suggesting that the mathematical chances of there being intelligent life elsewhere in the universe were high – but the aliens might well be “warm-blooded dinosaurs whose home planet was not hit by a very large rock”.

One can imagine what might happen…

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January 7 2013 at 09:34

A cheeky dressing-down for sneaky marketers

There are certain phrases in the English language that spell trouble. One is, “we have a problem” and another is “dress casual”. It is on the latter that I wish to comment.

To “dress casual” means to wear clothes with the label on the outside.

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December 3 2012 at 11:22

Marketing to make us remember our mortality

As I grow older I get more and more elaborate brochures aimed at undermining my confidence in my immortality. The most disconcerting I have received read: “Why not make your own cut-price funeral arrangements – NOW – and so save your loved ones the trouble and expense?”

The messages begin getting get blunter as you leave middle age. And plainly they hope you are neurotic.

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