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June 4 2013 at 09:24

We can no longer afford to put any more baddies in chookie

Can we afford to arrest and imprison any more murderers, rapists, robbers and other no-gooders?

I know this is a strange question, and the answer I am about to give will please the many thousands of murderers, rapists, robbers and general no-gooders still roaming free, and who would prefer not to be arrested and imprisoned. In any case, they all know it is distinctly unlikely.

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May 30 2013 at 10:35

The elephant not in the council was wearing his other hat

Tony Ehrenreich wasn’t the elephant in the Cape Town City Council chamber yesterday.

You usually try to ignore the presence of such metaphorical elephants. In Ehrenreich’s case, he wasn’t present at all, yet councillors couldn’t help remarking on his absence. How could the ANC’s council leader, Western Cape leader of Cosatu, and the biggest thorn in the DA’s side snub the tabling of the municipal budget?

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May 28 2013 at 10:31

Height ban on witches and car rides for ashes are no joke

Two news items, both involving someone being taken for a ride, have left me wondering whether the ride has been taken by ourselves.

The first was a decree by the Swazi government that banned witches from flying any higher than 150m on their broomsticks. No, seriously. Sabelo Dlamini, spokesman for Swaziland’s Civil Aviation Authority, announced: “A witch on a broomstick should not fly above the limit.”

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May 21 2013 at 08:58

Ancient mariner Boberg finally docks in a peaceful haven

Small keelboats, the smaller the better, have been a lifelong passion of mine, so when I saw someone sitting on the coach-roof of one in a Fish Hoek back garden some 15 years ago, I stopped to chat.

The owner turned out to be a man in his early seventies named Richard Boberg, and he was restoring a mini-yacht that I recognised from my sailing days at False Bay Yacht Club.

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May 9 2013 at 11:02

Unlike Oklahoma’s Ado Annie, Angie never lost her bloomers

Ado Annie, the girl in the musical Oklahoma who can’t say no, sings: “Those stories ’bout the way I lost my bloomers – Rumours!”

Alas, Basic Education Minister Angie Motshekga didn’t even lose hers, but South African Democratic Teachers Union protesters paraded a giant pair on a wire frame that they put her name to.

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