John Scott Masthead
September 26 2013 at 10:30

The last time I sat in the Strand Street Lutheran Church was at the funeral service of my late first wife’s Uncle Henry whose chances of reaching heaven, said the minister, were not great.

Apparently Henry had visited the church on arriving in Cape Town as a young man from Norway, and had never gone back until wheeled in in his coffin. The family was shocked, but fortunately Henry’s widow had senile dementia and didn’t understand her loving husband had just been consigned to hell.

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September 24 2013 at 09:48

Every September when the police release their crime statistics, I check out where I am least likely to be murdered.

This year once again the little West Coast village of Doringbaai tops the list. It hasn’t had a murder ever since |the police discovered it. They always mention it in their statistics, to prove how much they are in control of violent crime in key spots.

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September 17 2013 at 10:07

Sorry I wasn’t at the Tuynhuys lunch where President Jacob Zuma entertained the Press Gallery Association members to his legendary charm.

However strong your feelings may be about a man’s politics, they usually soften towards him as a person after a sociable, convivial encounter.

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August 20 2013 at 09:21

Now that the minister of police has admitted that 1 448 members of the service have criminal records, I shall |be far more picky in future about which officer I approach when laying a |charge.

The last person I want to complain to about housebreaking is the man who did the job.

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August 13 2013 at 10:50

A wonderful thing, bureaucracy. It can deprive people of their livelihoods at the stroke of a pen.

That’s what it’s done to hundreds of Cape Town tour guides who completed a three-year national diploma in tourism management at the Cape Peninsula University of Technology and have been working competently in the industry ever since, only to be informed by the Department of Tourism that their accreditation is now invalid.

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