“JUST a small mark, please,” I said to the lady with the purple pen, who agreeably planted a tiny dot above my left thumbnail.
And when the next seated lady in line gave me my two ballot papers, I asked: “May I come back this afternoon and vote again?” At first she seemed dumbstruck that I should ask such a question. Then she pointed at my purple mark and said no, I couldn’t.
Who to vote for? I certainly won’t do an “eeny, meeny, miny, mo ....” Look what happened to Jeremy Clarkson who inadvertently carried on with the next line.
Maybe I will only come to a final decision once I am actually in the voting booth. Naturally I won’t try to take a selfie of myself – not only because it is against the law and I don’t want to go to jail for disclosing which cross I made next to which party, but also because I don’t possess a cellphone, and I am prohibited from inviting in my wife, who does, to take my picture.
When city executive councillor JP Smith urged the public to “take ownership and speak up when they witnessed criminal acts”, I don’t think he meant you should get the practitioners of anti-social behaviour into a headlock.
Yet that’s what my friend George (not his real name) did last week, and the man wasn’t even stealing council bricks, the activity which made Smith so cross.
The DA really must do something desperate to catch up with God, who seems to have been contracted out to the ANC without any tenders being called for.
By now it is common knowledge that if you produce your ANC membership card to St Peter at the Pearly Gates he will wave you through. Also that President Jacob Zuma announced he saw himself “like Christ” because his detractors wished to crucify him. And that after visiting the River Jordan in Israel, he told believers “if I look at anyone, he or she will be blessed”.