The devil will hear tomorrow whether he really exists.
That is when the general synod of the Dutch Reformed Church will decide whether its members are free to regard him as a metaphor for evil or must believe in him as a real person. Naturally the devil himself is on tenterhooks as to the outcome.
The latest controversial painting of Jacob Zuma at least shows the president with his pants on, which is a relief and a nice change.
Last year Ayanda Mabula depicted Zuma stomping his right foot in full warrior regalia, with everything personal hanging out of his leopard-skin loincloth. It was titled Umshini Wam – Weapon of Mass Destruction.
The last time I sat in the Strand Street Lutheran Church was at the funeral service of my late first wife’s Uncle Henry whose chances of reaching heaven, said the minister, were not great.
Apparently Henry had visited the church on arriving in Cape Town as a young man from Norway, and had never gone back until wheeled in in his coffin. The family was shocked, but fortunately Henry’s widow had senile dementia and didn’t understand her loving husband had just been consigned to hell.
Every September when the police release their crime statistics, I check out where I am least likely to be murdered.
This year once again the little West Coast village of Doringbaai tops the list. It hasn’t had a murder ever since |the police discovered it. They always mention it in their statistics, to prove how much they are in control of violent crime in key spots.