John Scott Masthead
May 15 2014 at 10:19

Julius Malema and his cronies have vowed to cause a stir in Parliament, and one of their first stirs could be the spectacle of their being marched out before they have settled in.

The problem with Parliament, unlike street rallies, is that it has rules, 312 pages of them in the Guide to Procedure.

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May 13 2014 at 10:19

The best loser of the entire election was Cope leader Mosiuoa Lekota who sportingly tried eating a hat after promising to do so if his party polled fewer votes than in 2009.

In fact it polled more than a million fewer which is as good a reason I’ve ever heard for eating a hat, other than falling on your sword.

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May 8 2014 at 06:27

“JUST a small mark, please,” I said to the lady with the purple pen, who agreeably planted a tiny dot above my left thumbnail.

And when the next seated lady in line gave me my two ballot papers, I asked: “May I come back this afternoon and vote again?” At first she seemed dumbstruck that I should ask such a question. Then she pointed at my purple mark and said no, I couldn’t.

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May 6 2014 at 06:27

Who to vote for? I certainly won’t do an “eeny, meeny, miny, mo ....” Look what happened to Jeremy Clarkson who inadvertently carried on with the next line.

Maybe I will only come to a final decision once I am actually in the voting booth. Naturally I won’t try to take a selfie of myself – not only because it is against the law and I don’t want to go to jail for disclosing which cross I made next to which party, but also because I don’t possess a cellphone, and I am prohibited from inviting in my wife, who does, to take my picture.

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April 29 2014 at 11:46

When city executive councillor JP Smith urged the public to “take ownership and speak up when they witnessed criminal acts”, I don’t think he meant you should get the practitioners of anti-social behaviour into a headlock.

Yet that’s what my friend George (not his real name) did last week, and the man wasn’t even stealing council bricks, the activity which made Smith so cross.

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