Do not despair you brave cricket fans that favour the homeless and forlorn, for the New Age Impis will eventually rise to dominate South African cricket. I have seen the future and it is simple. In a few years from now, the NAI will win the New Age T20, the New Age Four-Day Series and the New Age Limited Overs Competition. Cricket South Africa (powered by New Age) add another competition to the season – a five-over shoot-out to be held should four-day matches finish early called the New Age Daily International Razzle, or NADIR for short.

To read about the cricket you can buy a copy of the New Age, who, after CSA (powered by New Age) finally enforced through the restrictive media accreditation conditions they have tried to get Sanef to agree to for several years, are the only publication allowed in. Gerald Majola, CSA’s (powered by New Age) CEO, Head of Remuneration, Chairman of the Audit and Risk Committee and President for Life, is expected to release new laws for cricket in which he will be the third umpire. If said match is at the Wanderers, he will adjudicate from the balcony of the Long Room, from the Chair of Judgement. The process of deciding who is out or in will be indicated by the raising or lowering of a thumb. Render unto Majola that which is Majola’s.

Yes, cricket could be headed for a new age, and not a bright one. It began a few years ago. When one of cricket’s biggest ex-sponsors wanted to meet with Gerald Majola to discuss the way forward for their contract a few years ago, they were told he was “busy”. He was travelling, they were told. Of course, he was. Gerald Majola travelled a lot. Just ask the CSA (powered by nothing) board, who gave him a friendly slap on the bottom for travelling a little bit too much with too many people.

The sponsor in question pumped over R100-million into the sport annually. Majola was apparently on a roadshow. The sponsor was considering pulling out of the sport. They’d had enough of the way they were treated. There was also the little matter of the economic climate and the sponsor wanted to see if there was a way they could stay involved. They set up meetings. Agreed. Confirmed. And, then, cancelled. Majola was busy travelling. He simply couldn’t find the time. R100-million is a lot of money not be able to find the time to see, but, then, cricket is living in the dot.com bubble of the Indian Premier League and perhaps Majola reckoned there was gold in the streets of Mumbai that he just had to go and pick up.

And now Majola is hanging on by a thread. I like Majola. He’s a likeable man one-on-one. He’s never been anything but courteous to me. But now, for the sake of cricket and his own sanity and dignity, he has to go. Thumbs down, Gerald.