I know someone who likes lists. She loves writing down things to do almost as much as she likes ticking them off. Having things to do is good. Ticking them off is like a loud burp – a somewhat crude sign of satisfaction that should be done in private instead of with a flourish and a triumphant, condescending look that asks: “And just what have you been doing with YOUR day?”
 

The usual answer to that question has been, “sod all”.

Almost two months of leave from work give a man empty days to fill, and for some time there has been just one “to do” in the old Moleskine diary – “Absa Cape Epic training”.

That list has been drawn up for me by Kim Rose-Gershow of www.fittrack.co.za, and says things like: “Group ride; climb repeats; four times hill tempo climbs duration of approx 5km; 3:30 minutes at 7,5”, or “Recovery ride and/or 2-3km run. 1:00 minute at 6,5km”. My favourite is when the list says nothing, for that is a rest day, of which I have two a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays.
 

This week I received another list, this time from Ernst Viljoen, the man responsible for co-ordinating the Team Absa riders at the Cape Epic.
 

I think Ernst likes a good list himself, and the one he sent through this week was for the items we need to bring to our four-day camp in the wilds of the Western Cape, starting tomorrow.

It is rather extensive, which includes much of the obvious and not-so obvious.
 

Mechanical; multi-tool (tick. I work with several multi-tools); puncture repair kit (tick. As Alexa from Sagitta tweeted this week, “punctures suck ass”. If they did, then with the amount of punctures I have had this summer I should have no ass at all); tyre levers (tick); spare tubes with slime (tick); spare tyres (tick); duct tape (need to buy); chain lube (tick); spoke key (need to buy); cable ties (need to buy); chain breaker (tick. Must learn how to use); pump (tick); spare spoke (need to buy); spare set of disc brake pads (need to buy) and plug kit (er, what?).
 

Clothing: four sets of kit, gloves, socks, undershirts (tick); two pairs of cycling shoes (nope. I have one pair); helmet (tick); sunglasses (tick. Four pairs – one for each day. Must look good); rain jacket (need to find); sleeves (tick); sweatband (nope. Too uncool for words).
 

Other: Elastoplast tape (tick); rigid strapping (need to buy); chammy-bum cream (tick. It’s called ASSos for a reason); lip balm (tick. I love the smell of lip balm in the morning); sunblock (tick); camera (click. Sorry, I mean, tick); detergent (er, won’t there be slaves waiting on us hand and foot); massage oil (tick); masking tape (lot of tape needed for the Epic, apparently); earplugs (nope. I’m the one who snores); sandals to shower in (tick); Ziploc bags (tick. For salads, I presume); headlight or torch (tick); four water bottles (tick); toilet paper (gosh).
 

Supplements/medication: energy drink (tick); energy bars (tick); energy gels (tick); Rehydrate (only use for hangovers); multi-vitamin (tick); cramping tablets (tick); pain tablets (tick. And gosh); sleeping tablets (never again); nausea tablets (yuk) and first-aid kit (gosh).
 

My partner, Jack Stroucken, sent me through a supplementary list, which included a jersey because it gets cold at nights and a swimming cozzie, because it gets warm during the day, and there is nothing like a cycling tan to scare off the locals.
 

He has also suggested I changed the three-litre bladder in my Camelbak to a 1,5-litre one so that I do not carry too much. Jack is a man wise in the ways of the Epic, having guided Joel Stransky through one.
 

So, tomorrow, Team Absa will assemble in Robertson. Myself, Jack, Ernst and his riding partner Elana Meyer, rally driver Gugu Zulu and Financial Mail’s Max Gebhardt, Stransky and Survivor runner-up Letshego Moshoeu, actress Vanessa Haywood and the strong Clayton Duckmore. I am nervous about the coming weekend as it will show how ready I am for the Epic with just over a month to go.
 

I’m nervous. And having had a look at the list I’m even more nervous. Ernst has left something off it. He forgot to add “bicycle”.