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Kevin McCallum Masthead
November 3 2014 at 12:07

 In The Star’s sports department weekly planning meeting in the hallowed halls of the World of Beer in Newtown, a reoccurring debate goes about just how a newspaper should go about revisiting a match for our Monday readers. Some believe the immediacy of the interweb means that a match report is redundant.

 
They want a quotes piece, more analysis and looking ahead. 
 
“Looking ahead” is a common phrase in newsrooms these days. 
 
I’ve never truly understood what exactly it means, although I suspect it is a heady mixture of speculation, guesswork and a lot of looking backward to look forward. I always argue for a timeline of the big match on Saturday for Monday papers, recounting the detail of play.
 
The planet has developed a collective short-term memory because of the interweb, and, save for the score and the best try of the match, come Monday few could tell you exactly what happened. I rarely win the argument. One day I will. Hell, let’s start with today.
 
On Saturday, the Barbarians and the Wallabies played one of the most enjoyable games of rugby you could have wished to watch. It was rugby with a smile, a devil-may-care show of skill and enjoyment. 
 
It was captured quite magnificently by the BaaBaas official Twitter feed (@Barbarian_FC), who made the game all that more delightful. The tweeter understood the power of short, sharp writing, had a good knowledge of the game and, most importantly, was witty. 
 
Here, for those of you who didn’t get to see the match and for those of you who did and can’t quite remember all of it, is a timeline of one of the great games of the weekend.
 
 “Briefing with the ref for the bigger lads to clarify how to legally crash into each other! #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“Kick off. Show time. Great |atmosphere. Early observation - @QantasWallabies Will Skelton is colossal.Enourmous #rugby #rugbyunited #baabaas”
 
 “First scrum leads to pen for Baabaas. Stevens leading charge. Loves a scrum almost as much as Graham Rowntree #rugby #rugbyunited #baabaas”
 
“NFL quarterback lineout throw. Boys have come to play! Good hustle #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“Strong defence from #baabaas so far. Big first up hits. Parsons is marauding around clattering anything vaguely gold #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “7 mins gone. 0-0 still. Match besieged between 10 metre lines. Wild west stand off. Who will blink first... #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Now we’re cooking. Classy dink from Slade to de Jongh then |backhanded offload from Thomson. Champagne stuff #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“#baabaas held up over line. Penalty. Reverse chip on tap & go befuddled Wallabies. Agonising knock on. Ole ole ole #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“Try! Offloads aplenty & a slalom finish from the Kiwi giant Frank Halai. Oosh. #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited #BARvAUS”
 
 “#baabaas bubbling away like a post-hangover Berocca tablet. Nearly a try then Wallabies batter down left flank. Power #rugby #rugbyunited”\[michael.oakley\]l “Huge hits from both sides. Honey Badger with an interception then gang tackled. #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“Wallaby defence intense. Flying into #baabaas like West End |bouncers handling a rowdy stag party. No prisoners #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Wallabies may have scored. Crowd say knock on in middle of move...TMO having a peak from his TV den #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Try given. Crowd not impressed. Cheerleaders are on. Crowd are now impressed.. 5-7 26mins #rugby #rugbyunited #baabaas”
 
 “Neoooow!! Superb try from #baabaas Footwork, multiple |offloads & darting finish. Try time. Thomson. 12-7 #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Fair play. Good try from Benn Robinson as pressure tells. Good game of what Honey Badger calls ‘footy’ 12-14. #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“Massive defensive effort. Wave after wave from Wallabies. Relentless defence. TMO says ball short. Phew. #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Penalty! #baabaas lift the siege. Much needed supplies (water) are ferried on. #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Superb kick chase produces a sliding turnover by Halai. Then offload fumbled. Another huge walloping hit. Half time 12-14 #baabaas #rugby”
 
 “Up the ante, up the energy & give it a lash. No regrets. Half time message #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Here we go. Round 2. Grab some chips, sup that pint & get ready to rumble. #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Nearly an intercept by de Jongh. Pops in & then out of bread basket. Agonising. #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“Clean break & try for Aussies. 13 regally glided through the hole with a single ticket to try town.. 12-21 #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Hold the phone. #baabaas may have notched a ‘meat pie’ here. Saili chasing chip ahead like a rabbit down a hole. TMO #baabaas #rugby”
 
 “Try! TMO presses the button. Sladey slaps it through from outwide. Party back on #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“Thomson is a #rugby Starbucks today. He’s literally everywhere. Can’t avoid the bloke. Warrior 19-21 #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Slade lines up a pen from halfway. Nails it. Greeted like the bloke who goes out to buy more alcohol at a party. Hero. #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Gnarly nudge from Slade into Cummins gaping arms. Another bamboozling expedition to Wallaby 22m line. 22-21 54. #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
 “Heavy hit after heavy hit. Then a blindside try by Rob Horne. 22-26 #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“Jurassic Park moment as everyone’s pints mysteriously shake. Then the PA: ‘Substitution: Will Skelton on’ #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“Muscular defence this. Soaring break from Folau. Caught by Halai. Somehow a try results. Your guess is as good as mine #rugby #rugbyunited”
 
“Halai’s chase tackle & turnover of Folau was mantlepiece moment. He should fight crime. He’d have caught Jack the Ripper #rugbyunited #rugby”
 
“Another mantlepiece moment - Mexican wave catching the big fella with a pint unawares. Splash. #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunion”
 
“Turnover by Matt Todd. He adores the dark, murky space of #rugby. Snaffler #baabaas #rugbyunited”
 
“MEAT PIE! Honey Badger gets his feast as he slithers through a gap & dives under posts 29-40 #baabaas #rugby #rugbyunited #BarvAus”
 
“WOW! Impossible to describe. Stunning try from Boshoff via Badger from 22. Mesmerising. Crowd go ballistic. #rugby #rugbyunited #baabaas”
 

 “36-40. Last minute. Breathless. Stunning. #baabaas throwing kitchen sink at it. Now the sofa #rugby #rugbyunited”

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October 20 2014 at 11:18

 The main field at Old Eds in Houghton are a long way from the Ol Pejeta Conservancy in Nairobi. The news this weekend that one of just seven northern white rhinos left on the planet had died formed a link between Kenya and South Africa, a lesson of what might happen to the southern white rhinos in this fair land should the scourge of poaching not be slowed or halted.

Suni, a 34-year-old rhino was one of the last two breeding northern white rhinos in the world, died of natural causes, but his breed has been cut to the verge of extinction by “decades of rampant poaching,” reported The Guardian. “The species now stands at the brink of complete extinction, a sorry testament to the greed of the human race,” said the Ol Pejeta conservancy. “We will continue to do what we can to work with the remaining three animals on Ol Pejeta in the hope that our efforts will one day result in the successful birth of a northern white rhino calf.” Fifty nine rhinos were poached in Kenya last year.

South Africa is on target to break last year’s record of 1004 rhinos poached for their horns. As of October 12, 791 had been killed, according to the department of environmental affairs. It has spiralled out |of control. 

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October 17 2014 at 11:07

 Tomorrow morning, at 9am sharp, or as sharp as one can be on a Saturday morning, I shall lead the might of the SAB Mark Boucher Rhino Foundation team as we seek to win the Momentum Cricket Sixes at Old Eds.

I have been chosen as captain, a decision made by the wise and |insightful Graeme Smith, the unsightly Doug Worth and the sighted Justin Kemp, in charge of a squad of media people.

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October 13 2014 at 10:50

Muscle memory. When all else fails, when there is despair running through your body, muscle memory will see you through. That’s what Garry Reed of the Cullinan Hotel told me before I rode the 106km of the Tsogo Sun Amashova from Pietermaritzburg to Durban yesterday. Muscle memory will see you right.

 

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October 10 2014 at 11:52

Typical. On the day the Dale Benkenstein announces he has decided to retire from all forms of cricket, bringing to an end a wonderful career by one of the quieter men in the sport, Kevin Pietersen brings out his book on cheese and the world forgets about the other South African in England.

 Benkenstein has never been the loudest player. Quietly but strongly spoken, he was once being discussed as a possible future captain of South Africa. He may even have been in the same squad as Pietersen at so-me stage at Kingsmead, before the latter left for England furious at South African cricket. This week, in the maelstrom around the bullying, soul-sear-ching, soul-sucking big cheeses who have been outed in Pietersen’s new book, one small line almost went unnoticed.

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