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THE mid-year blues have hit hard and fast, and this time around I have no idea how to beat them.
Experts suggest staying active. I prefer staying on the couch. Experts say remember your five fruits and vegetables per day. I’ve just remembered how good home-made slap chips taste. Experts say drink lots of water. I want lots of hot chocolate with tons of sugar and cream. Full cream.
It’s getting more difficult each day to get out of bed, especially since the sun insists on sleeping in too. No one should ever be made to get up before the sun does. I’ve often considered calling the office to say I’m dead, anything to get extra sleep in the morning.
It seems I’m not the only one. People stand sleeping in the train. They mill about aimlessly and zombie-like in the city centre. I see them driving on autopilot because behind those open eyes, they’re actually fast asleep.
Officers at roadblocks shouldn’t be testing for alcohol. At this time of year they should be testing for how many people are awake. If motorists are found driving on autopilot, the fine should be a splash of ice cold water to the face.
A colleague explained that the reason for the slump, other than vitamin D deficiency, is that while the year started with so much promise, this is when we wake up and realise we haven’t even started with half of those goals we mapped out in January.
It’s now that we realise there’s less than six months left to save for that holiday we were hoping to take at year end. At this rate, the only holiday I’ll be able to afford is a weekend in Bellville-South.
What adds to the misery is that summer was so long ago that all traces of it ever having happened are gone. One’s skin is pale and dry, the hair dull and perpetually minced. Everyone wears black, brown and grey, and the brightest colour anyone will venture is purple. What I wouldn’t give to see some splashes of colour.
The tank tops and dresses have been replaced by thermal underwear, five more layers of clothing, knee-high boots and woollen beanies. Sandals by now must be growing cobwebs.
The most skin one sees is the red tops of runny noses. Well, on locals. The UK tourists seem to think this weather is normal, and have no problem walking around in khaki shorts and T-shirts.
The midyear blues arrive every year, but this year seem even worse. Maybe because the world is supposed to end in December?
It’s not that I mind the world ending. It would mean no more Mondays, no more winters, no more spam e-mails, no more telemarketers, and no more bylaws.
But most importantly, no more mid-year blues.