What if our endless attempts at “reconciliation” are misguided? What if, instead, we started with what we agreed on: like rights of the child, says Murray Williams.
Cape Town - I’m rambling down a farm road, with my two-year-old daughter on my back.
We’re on a Sunday morning Fun Run & Walk, with hundreds of other people. It’s “The Gratitude Run”, to raise money for children with cerebral palsy at Little Angels Children’s Home.
A huge turn-out - I’m sure tens of thousands of rands were raised for these children in such dire need.
Later on Sunday, I read a post on Facebook, “For Fathers of Girls” - a list of musts for dads of daughters.
Like this: “Love her mom. Treat her mom with respect, honour and big heaped spoonfuls of public displays of affection. When your daughter grows up, the odds are good that she’ll fall in love with someone who treats her much like you treated her mother.”
“Learn to say no. She may throw a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.”
And: “Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.” The Facebook post has many “likes” and “shares”.
I reflect on my morning walk and the post. I apply the skills of a resource investigator.
And I remember the philosopher Karl Popper’s extraordinary talent: In debate, he looked not for weaknesses in opponents’ arguments. Instead, he honed in on their strengths. Then harnessed those strengths, in union.
I see a profound resource. Which is? Consensus.
Between huge numbers of people - at the event and online.
People who agree resolutely on: the rights of the child. And our responsibilities as parents.
There’s complete unanimity.
This is a resource with astounding potential.
Why? Because consensus can be extremely powerful.
And I begin to wonder: What if we’re misdirecting our national effort.
What if our endless attempts at “reconciliation” are misguided - to “unite” across race, class, culture, language, apartheid spatial planning, political affiliation and every other “difference” in between?
What if, instead, we started with what we agreed on: like rights of the child.
What if that became our meeting point, the start of our future together?
Would it be possible to articulate a vision, for our children?
A vision we dream together - whether we’re from Khayelitsha or Camps Bay?
A Cape Town or South African “Charter for our Children”?
A crystal-clear set of rights, roles and responsibilities?
In which your child’s future is as important as mine?
Which we throw our passion, energy and resources into?
Together, rather than divided?
* Williams’ “Shooting from the Lip” column appears in the Cape Argus every Monday.
Cape Argus