Service mostly sucks and I refuse to pay for nothing

INLSA

Usually when musicians get on the train, I keep my eyes averted and pretend not to notice them, says the writer

WHAT is it with those in this town who expect money for nothing. The older I get, the less inclined I feel to pay for non-service.

This morning a busker stepped on to the train, and filled our carriage with his beautiful saxophone rendition of a Mango Groove song. I couldn’t help but be mesmerised. I made a generous contribution to his hat.

Usually, when “musicians” get on the train, I keep my eyes averted and pretend not to notice them. Not even when they’re lingering in front of me expectantly, cup in hand. They work in pairs. One is in charge of the cup, while the other emits a range of unenthusiastic, nasal sounds that could perhaps, by a very far stretch of the imagination, be described as singing.

I’m a scrooge when it comes to these folk. Their service sucks and I’m not paying.

Then there are the self-appointed car guards. I swear they’re magicians in their own right. More often than not, they are nowhere to be seen when I park. Nor are they anywhere near my car when I come back.

But as soon as I turn on the lights, they appear, expecting no less than R20. Some will pretend to help you out of the parking bay. Even when you’re the only car in sight.

On the other hand, I once met a brave guard who defended my honour in the parking bay war. He found a bay for me in a busy lot and was trying to reserve it until I found my way there, when a BMW driver tried to steal the spot. The brave car guard body-blocked the BMW, and didn’t move until I was safely in the bay. Now that’s what I call service.

My other peeve is the so-called hospitality industry. Quite frankly, hospitality is quite rare in the industry.

Waiters always moan about how they live off meagre wages and that tips are their lifelines.

Well, Mr Waiter, if it’s that important to you, give me good service, and your tip will reflect your service.

What’s next?

Next time I go out, I’m going to demand a tip for smiling at the train driver, for allowing cars into the traffic ahead of me, and from the government for being an all-round good citizen. If you can’t beat them, join them.