THIS is the time of year when I walk around with eyes as red as John Plumtree’s face was last Saturday after the Currie Cup final. My throat is scratchy, and my handkerchief of the previous day gets handled with a pair of tongs, as my nose is seemingly training to enter either the Comrades or Two Oceans next year.
I hate this time of year. I hate the blossoming of flowers and the buzz of the bees. I hate the wind trying to take off my head, and the dust that end up getting into my nostrils. I hate spring, period
The hayfever and my sinuses are killing me at the moment, especially in Paarl, where there seems to be more trees and flowers that cause sinus than anywhere else in South Africa.
I tend to rub my eyes to the point where my retina sends a message to my hand to stop the madness.
My eyes would then be a shade of red that your eyes would have been if you watched football at Athlone Stadium when people were still smoking the wacky tobacco.
My nose too takes a hell of a pounding, and that’s why its shape has gone a bit, well, flat over the last three decades since I was brought into the world on a stormy June evening.
I normally have the attention span of a goldfish, but in September, October and November, I feel and look like a zombie.
So at the moment, I’m a bit grumpy, because I’m not getting proper sleep and all the sinus meds make me as drowsy as a parliamentarian during the budget speech.
But I don’t seem to be the only one who is in a foul mood at the moment. Lots of people in the soccer fraternity seem to be a bit unhappy with life.
I don’t know if hayfever is to blame for Alex Ferguson being peeved off at Nani, although his face looked more flushed than normal after Mancherster United’s League Cup defeat at Chelsea on Wednesday night.
Ferguson blamed the Portuguese winger for the loss against Chelsea, although he did use 13 other players on the night.
But Nani shouldn’t take it personally, because his name is probably the easiest for Fergie to remember these days, especially if he is on sinus meds as well.
Chelsea, of course, are also upset, and are trying to nail referee Mark Clattenburg for their loss against United in the league last Saturday. And they haven’t been afraid to pull out the race card too, even if it has club captain John Terry’s face on it.
Back home, Roger de Sa and Gordon Igesund have had a few choice words for each other in the media over Benni McCarthy, who actually could do with a bout of sinusitis to help him lose some weight.
I don’t really know who would win a real fight between De Sa and Igesund, especially over McCarthy, because that would be like fighting for the honour of dating the slightly odd-looking girl at the ball.
Maybe we all just need some happy pills to be a bit more cheerful. If they can help for sinusitis and hayfever, even better.
TWEETS OF THE WEEK
@MacbethSibaya1 (Former Bafana Bafana midfielder tweeting some advice): Every problem has a solution, deep at the root lies your answer, if you dig deeper you’ll see.
@Amanda_Dlamini9 (The Banyana Banyana captain was chuffed after their victory in the African Women’s Cup against Senegal): The dream is still alive. Gotta work at it...
WHO TO FOLLOW
@RyanBabel: The former Liverpool man is as funny as always!
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