Treasure the tradition of friendship

Published Dec 8, 2016

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MY PREVIOUS Counterpoint was about a tradition that seemed to have been coming to an end, that of using animals to entertain people.

I have since then again thought about the idea of tradition.

Here I have in mind, following a dictionary definition, “the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation”.

But tradition is not a simple matter. During World War II Sir Winston Churchill, in a speech in the British House of Commons, said: “A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril; but the new view must come, the world must roll forward.”

This indicates that there is space, within the idea of tradition, for new ways of doing and thinking.

But these ways of doing and thinking should be infused with thoughtfulness since, as TS Eliot says: “A tradition without intelligence is not worth having.”

What passes for tradition should be beneficial to all beings and to the earth, and uplifts one’s spirit, but that is not always the case. The Counterpoint to which I refer above had the headline “Jumbo step in right direction to a more humane society”.

This, of course, applies to non-human animals: in the case of the article, to elephants specifically.

But just the day before that Counterpoint was published, there appeared on the front page of the Cape Times (November 24) the photographs of two young women, both sexually violated and murdered. And there are so many cases: recently a 13 year old and a nine year old, to name but two.

Not only women and girls are treated in this way. Boys, too, are victims. Let us never forget the “Station Strangler”. This is what I call the tradition of gender- and child-based violence – a tradition that rips at and destroys the fabric of our society.

I mention another unhappy tradition, namely that of selling under-aged girls to older men to be married to these men. Many voices have recently, as well as in the past, condemned this tradition. However, this practice is still in force.

The tradition of selling these girls into marriage constitutes a gross violation of their rights – as all acts of violence against persons.

In the case of these young girls they are denied the right to reach their potential as adult women and have to assume responsibilities for which they are far too young, and have to enter into relationships which no young person should be forced into.

This is indeed a tradition that, for me, causes great sadness.

I wish to make the point that men are also often the victims of verbal or physical abuse.

In a tradition of domestic violence, women and children are often the victims, but men, too, may be subjected to physical abuse by wives or partners, or emotional abuse through being humiliated by such wives and partners in the presence of others.

Again, a tradition that is certain to erode the moral fibre of our society.

Then there is the tradition of societal violence, when problems are solved through violent means, or when theft or robbery take place. Persons are often tortured or maimed, seriously injured or killed in such situations.

Again, a tradition of enormous harm to our society. In this context one also thinks of the Italian Mafia, an organisation based on familial relationships, and which is a truly awful tradition, with dire consequences for those persons who end up on the wrong side of a Mafioso.

But some traditions are truly beautiful. The tradition of remembrance is one such, although it is accompanied, often, by sadness.

Newspapers have columns where persons can publicly write about their deceased loved ones. I find all notices about persons who have recently died, or who have died some time in the past, touching.

In the “Memoriam/Yahrzeit “ column of the Cape Times of November 25, I read two truly touching entries. These were submitted by a person named Clarence. The first of his entries commemorated the deaths of his parents and two brothers – deceased in 1991, 2000, 2010 and 2011, respectively.

The second of his entries commemorated the deaths of his wife (2013) and his young son (1993).

Entries of commemoration like these fill one with great compassion, and the compassion is for persons one does not know personally.

Also with the beautiful tradition in mind, there is an article like the one by Francesca Villette ("Cave rock art reflects Khoi and San culture", Cape Times, December 1) that highlights the history and heritage of our traditions. Villette writes about the cave rock art of the Khoi and San people which represent the San hunter-gatherer and the Khoi herder traditions which began thousands of years ago, and persisted into early colonial times.

A newspaper article such as this gives one an insight into traditions of our forebears that were hardly accorded, in history school textbooks during apartheid times, the importance they deserved as part of our heritage, but which are now highlighted in our democratic era.

Many people treasure the tradition of friendship, and will regularly spend time with friends, not because they have to, but because the experience is an uplifting one.

Many families observe traditions such as celebrating birthdays and wedding anniversaries. This usually affords family members great pleasure, and serve to enliven the spirit.

Traditions such as these make for fellowship and good daily living.

I have thus far referred to both bad and good traditions. Now I think of financial systems of the world.

Could we call, as the free-thinking young people of the 1960s would have, the world financial system of capitalism a tradition that destroys?

They had wanted to establish a state free from capitalism within 25 years. Others realistically see such a revolution as millennia in the making. This is an issue that can be addressed at another time – not today, within the confines of this column.

Finally, this is the month during which Christmas is celebrated by many people the world over. Our family has always celebrated Christmas quietly. At this time of year, one becomes aware, once again, how this celebration, which should be a holy one, is exploited for monetary gain. It nauseates one to be assailed by advertisements to spend money (one might not have) in order to buy this that and the other during the festive season.

Yes, the time of Christmas is certainly festive, since it celebrates the birth of Jesus, but festiveness should not be confused with raucousness, which is often the attitude that accompanies the celebration of Christmas. Traditions like Christmas with its attendant meaningfulness, but not the traditions of Christmas shopping and raucousness, serve to light up my spirit.

Over Christmas, Adam and I had always experienced feelings of nostalgia. I think that might have been caused by thoughts of loved ones no longer with us, and also by knowing that the passage of time is inevitable. I will again experience nostalgia this Christmas.

The Christmas season for us in South Africa is also a time when many persons conclude their work for the year, and many families follow the tradition of an annual family holiday while others stay home (as we have always done) to enjoy the peace and quiet of their own spaces. I wish readers enjoy this December – whether celebrating Christmas or not, whether going on holiday or staying at home.

I also have a special thought for persons who are working during the festive season, such as those responsible for bringing the media to members of the public. I also have a special thought for those who work on Christmas Day such as medical personnel, the police and fire fighters. May they all have a blessed festive season.

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