Taking back the power

REUTERS

A woman wearing a miniskirt takes part in a protest against the idea that provocatively dressed women are to blame for sexual assaults. The writer says a good starting point for reclaiming control of our bodies is to learn to love ourselves and appreciate our bodies when we look in the mirror.

It is Women’s Month in South Africa, that time of the year when we celebrate women and recommit to empowering them, as our progressive constitution stipulates.

The theme for 2012 is “Addressing unemployment, poverty and inequality: together contributing towards the progressive future for women”.

As I sat reflecting on this important month, on what South Africans will be doing every day until the end of the month, and on what inequality means to me, I thought about my own daily routine.

One of my favourite moments in the day is when I look at my naked body in my full-length mirror after a bath.

I am always fascinated by its features and marvel at the beauty of creation. My body doesn’t come close to meeting the aesthetic standards prescribed by today’s media, but I always walk away from that mirror smiling.

I also sometimes feel like a glimpse of my “twin girlies” during the day, and on these days I make sure I wear something that will allow me to see them. I love my body for giving me this pleasure – it puts me on a high, and I feel I don’t want to come back to the real world. I drool over my body, in awe of the power it has. As the character Juanita Sims from the movie “For Coloured Girls” says: “These are my things to uhhh and ahhh about.”

Standing in front of that mirror, I am amazed at the ideas and thoughts my body comes up with – ideas most people would find crazy. For so many years, I silenced those ideas and thoughts for fear of being viewed as different.

Society taught me as a young girl to be a certain person, to do things a certain way, and to love a certain way. If I did otherwise, society would inflict penalties, because there is no tolerance for women who do not live according to that script. Growing up, I also learnt that I do not have control over my body – society does. I learnt how a female body should look, what it should do, what parts of it need to be covered, and who should touch it.

Obviously, what I thought and felt about my body mattered very little. Our ongoing battle to have full control over our bodies is illustrated today by the high number of women who are groped in public spaces by men who think it is acceptable to touch a woman because she has chosen to wear a skirt or shorts.

Dozens of women in miniskirts marched in Johannesburg in February this year to show solidarity with other women who had reported being groped by men in the Noord Street taxi rank.

These women called attention to SA’s bill of rights, which guarantees the right to safety and security for everyone. High-profile marchers presented a memorandum to the minister of justice. Some women may feel proud that something was done to bring to light to the problem of women being harassed by men in public spaces. These women then go home and imagine a better and safer life for women in South Africa.

I do not think that will be possible anytime soon. We need to see the bigger picture.

This issue is about more than women wearing short skirts. The harassment at the taxi rank is a public display of the power men feel they have over women – the control they feel they have over our bodies.

It is also an indication of what happens in private spaces where women do not have control over their bodies – a reflection of the broader mentality of men who think our bodies should be presented in certain ways.

Men feel they can batter our bodies, determine when to have sex with our bodies, decide whether we should use contraception, whistle or shout derogatory words at us when we pass, become enraged when other women touch our bodies, and rape or kill our bodies.

This is not acceptable. The miniskirt marchers should have clearly articulated these types of atrocities committed daily against women’s bodies in public and private spaces.

As women, we need to be aware of the power men exert over us. At times, awareness of this power and domination comes only when consciousness-raising work is done.

We need to educate each other about the dominant patriarchal power which normalises abnormality, and which continues to subjugate us in sometimes subtle ways.

This Women’s Month, we need to be aware that protests are not the only tools to resolve our problems. We must identify pockets of patriarchal power and domination in our society and challenge them.

Organisations working with women have a bigger role to play here. Service providers should raise awareness about this normalisation of domination and oppression and how we have come to accept it as a way of life. Such organisations should also suggest alternative ways of being, and how we can make them a reality.

We also need to be creative and strategic in our efforts to challenge patriarchy without compromising ourselves and selling our souls. If we insist on choosing “safer” ways of challenging patriarchy, we will lose our struggle with this very old and entrenched monster.

A good starting point for reclaiming control of our bodies is to learn to love ourselves and appreciate our bodies when we look in the mirror.

*Tyiso is training and development manager at People Opposing Women Abuse (POWA) in South Africa. This article is part of the Gender Links Opinion and Commentary Service.