London - Lindsay Lohan has described her relationship with Samantha Ronson as "toxic".
The couple split up three years ago and although Lindsay says they are now friends again, she doesn't think they were ever really right for each other even though she deeply loved the DJ.
Lindsay said: "I need to love myself first before I could be with anyone else, and I was going through a lot. Two toxic people cannot be together. End of story. We're friends now. That's how it started so I think that's how it was meant to be."
While the pair are now on good terms, Lindsay admits the separation left her heartbroken.
She told Us Weekly magazine: "I was bold enough to say, 'Yeah, I like a girl. And?' That put her in a situation where she was being attacked every day. That's not fair. And what am I left with? Heartbreak. That was three years ago. It was my last serious relationship."
The 'Liz & Dick' star also says she blames "sycophants and bad influences for her troubles".
The 26-year-old actress has been arrested six times, checked in to rehab five times, been jailed and completed 536 hours of community service but Lindsay doesn't believe any of it was her fault.
She said: "Kids go through ups and downs, try cigarettes, drugs and drinking. It's human nature.
"It took a while but it's like, What was I thinking? Why did I allow so many sycophants and bad influences to be around me? I was lonely and I didn't realise it. That's why I came back home to New York. I never feel lonely there. I can see my family and I have really good people in my life."
Asked what advice she would give her 16-year-old self, Lindsay said: "Don't drink and drive! And be careful who you surround yourself with." - Bang Showbiz