Vatican City - In a new autobiography, Pope John Paul wonders if he has been strict enough in his leadership of the Church, a self doubt that will surprise many people who have seen the pontiff as authoritarian.
In excerpts printed by Il Giornale newspaper on Sunday ahead of the book's publication on May 18, the pope said church leaders had to admonish people as well as lead them in faith.
"I think that in this aspect, maybe I have done too little. There is always this problem of how to balance authority and service. Perhaps I need to criticise myself for not having tried hard enough to lead," the pope wrote.
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Many see the pope as a strong leader who regularly stamps his views on everything from international diplomacy to the sanctity of marriage, making sure the church's voice is heard in an often secular world.
Liberal Catholics accuse him of being too authoritarian, particularly on questions of sexual morality, while conservatives praise him for putting the church back on track after the turmoil of the 1962-65 Second Vatican Council.
"There is no space for compromising on truth," the pope wrote in the book, which will come out on his 84th birthday.
The autobiography, which looks back over the last 50 years of his life and is called "Get up! Let us go!", reveals some of the pope's memories and insights into his personal faith.
In one extract, he remembers how a Polish archbishop welcomed him when he was named auxiliary (assistant) bishop of Krakow in 1958 and announced to the room "Habemus papam", the words proclaimed at the Vatican when cardinals elect a pope.
The most-travelled pontiff in history describes how his globetrotting was integral to his mission to spread the gospel and get to know churches around the world.
On a deeply intimate level, he muses on his relationship with a guardian angel.
"My guardian angel knows what I am doing. My faith in him, in his protective presence is something that is continually deepening in me," he wrote.
The autobiography is expected to become a best-seller. His first book for mass circulation Crossing the Threshold of Hope has sold more than 20 million copies in 50 editions around the world since it was published in 1994.
The pope, who has written a long line of theological papers and last year published a book of poetry, will give the autobiography's royalties to charities and development projects.
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