Most men would sooner swim in shark-infested waters with a gaping head wound than put themselves in a situation where they have to discuss their inner feelings.
In fact words like "emotions", "issues", and "relationships" can send the most rugged of men scurrying for cover, especially macho, rugger bugger South Africans.
But this is exactly what a weekend retreat will be expecting from participants when they journey into the wilderness for what is called A Gathering Of Men.
Peter Geddes, one of the conveners, says it is for men who are brave enough to want to explore their emotions and shed the stereotyped roles which social conditioning has forced them to play.
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'Men don't like to admit weakness to each other' "Expressing feelings and emotions, particularly painful ones, is something men are not used to doing, while women are adept at it," he said.
Geddes is part of MensTrust, a non-profit organisation formed to create and support men's groups.
He believes that by exploring their darker side, men are allowed to identify and heal their suppressed hurt and anger.
"It is this that lies behind so much of the abuse and violence which men inflict on women and children."
The wilderness gatherings have been taking place in Southern Africa for the past four years, attracting men from across the racial and cultural divide.
"We had one guy who was in uMkhonto weSizwe who shared some eye-opening experiences. Others shared army experiences, relationship problems, divorces and issues with their own fathers."
Geddes said it could take a few days for men to open up and reveal things they had often never dared to tell before.
"Men don't like to admit weakness to each other, or to anyone else so some are in denial."
He said many men had been holding on to guilt and anger for years.
One Cape Town man told Weekend Argus he had carried around a burden of guilt for years relating to an experience that took place in the late 1970s while he was in the army.
He said he had been confronted almost daily with having his personal possessions and items of kit stolen from his barracks.
"The way I coped with this was simply to steal the missing items of kit from the next victim. I mean, if my boots got stolen, that surely entitled me to steal the boots from the next guy? The result was that stealing got easy, everyone did it, it was a way of life, of survival."
He said one time when he was absent without leave from the army camp, he needed petrol for his car.
"I simply used a pipe and stole some from another car. But I got caught, was charged with theft in a civilian court, and convicted. At the age of 18 I had a criminal record."
He said the whole affair had been intensely humiliating and he felt deeply ashamed.
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