Did you read the amusing story about racehorse trainer Paul Lafferty, who has decided to give his horses some unusual names? In his stables he has Mule, Donkey, Goat, Chicken and Tortoise, among others.
It got me thinking that if this caught on among other trainers it could be quite a mouthful for the race commentator. Imagine the final moments of the Durban July with the horses coming around the false rail and into the straight.
It could go something like this ... "and as they turn for home it's time for the Chicken run as he overtakes Dog, who is yapping at the heels of his rivals. Just a length behind is Orangutang in the orange colours followed by Pig, who could bring home the bacon.
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And bringing up the rear is Tortoise, still going at a snail's pace and obviously carrying too much weight on his back."
I think Lafferty has started something here…
While trying to avoid the internet dating site this week, I came across a website which highlighted some of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio. Some of them are real classics. These are my favourites:
Ted Walsh (horse-racing commentator): "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
US PGA commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my god! What have I just said?"
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."
Ken Brown, commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
Anyway, back to the internet dating.
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