BUHLUKENE kaningi ubutabane njengoba kukhona abanye abangabonakali ukuthi bayizona yize besuke bengakufihlile abayikho.
Lokhu kushiwo nguMnuz Sibongiseni Khumalo weDurban Lesbian and Gay Community Centre, engxoxweni ekhethekile neSolezwe.
UKhumalo (36) obukeka eyinsizwa ziphelele, uthandana nabobulili obufanayo nobakhe kanti uzibiza ngeGay ngolimi abalusebenzisayo. Ngesikhathi ekhula eMlaza, abantu babedideka ngobulili bakhe yize ekhule ewumfana.
“Ngangimpofu kakhulu ngithanda ukudlala namantombazane. Esikoleni ngangingayi ethoyilethi ngoba nginyanya ukungcola kodwa abanye babecabanga ukuthi yingoba ngibalekela ukungena kwelabafana,” echaza.
Uthe waqala ukuqonda ubulili bakhe esefunda amabanga aphezulu, esethanda abanye abafana. Yize ethanda abobulili obufana nobakhe, akaze agqoke njengowesifazane. Nomuntu athandana naye ugqoka njengendoda.
“Konke okwami okwendoda ngisho ethoyilethi ngingena kwelamadoda, umehluko yimizwa yami. Ngisho ungabona ngihamba nomuntu wami ngeke usole lutho ngoba sobabili sigqoka njengamadoda. Baningi abafana nathi, kwesinye isikhathi omunye alale namantombazane kodwa umqondo wakhe nemizwa ingekho kubona,” kuchaza uKhumalo.
Uqhuba athi kukhona abesilisa abathandana nobulili obufanayo nobabo kodwa abagqoka njengamantombazane, nezinwele bazilungisa njengabantu besifazane.
UKhumalo uthe kulaba abagqoka njengamantombazane, ama-homornes asuke exubile bese kugqama kakhulu eyowesifazane. Uchaze nomehluko phakathi kweTransgender ne-Intersex. Kanti uveze ukuthi udadewabo omdala uyi-Transgender.
“Uma uyiTransgender usuke uzalwe nakho konke okobulili oyibona kodwa imizwa isho okunye. Yingakho abanye begcina beshintsha isitho sangasese ngoba bezitshela ukuthi akumele ngabe banesalobo bulili abayikho. Kwi-Intersex uzalwa nobulili obungaqondakali nesitho sangasese singacaci. Kuyenzeka ube nesitho sangasese esibonakalayo ngaphandle kodwa ingaphakathi lisho okunye njengokuthi ube ngowesifazane kodwa ungabi naso isibeletho,” kuchaza uKhumalo.
Njengoba kulezi zinsuku kunezigameko zokucwaswa kwabathandana nobulili obufanayo nobabo, uthe yithuba lokuthi bafundise umphakathi ngempilo yabo. Okunye okwenza umphakathi ubacwase wukuthi abanye bashintsha sebebadala. Echaza uthe basuke besaba ukucwaswa bese beyafihla ukuthi bathandana nabantu abanobulili obufana nobabo.
Ephawula ngokuthi kungani ezinye izitabane zinezingane kodwa zibe zithandana nabantu bobulili obufanayo, uthe kuyenzeka ukuthi umuntu alale nomunye ukuze athole ingane kodwa engenayo imizwa yalowo muntu.
“Ucansi luyefana noma ngabe uyinhloboni yobulili. Akuyona indaba enkulu ukuba nengane uyisitabane. Nami ngingalala nowesifazane ngoba ngifuna ingane kuphela hhayi ngoba nginemizwa yakhe.”
Olunye uhlobo aluchazile ngolubizwa ngeBisexual lapho umuntu elala nobulili bobubili. Uthe bakhona nabesilisa abathandana nababobulili obuhlukile kodwa ababuye balale nabanye besilisa ngasese ngoba befuna ukuzwa ukuthi kunjani. Abanye basuke beshadile benomndeni kodwa uma besukwe ukuganga balale nabanye abesilisa.
Mayelana nokucwaswa ngokwenkolo nesiko, uthe bazowalwela amalungelo abo ngoba uMthethosisekeo uyabavuna.
“Sekuyisikhathi sokuthi siwashiye amasonto acwasayo ngoba sinawo awethu. Asikuthandi nokubizwa ngezitabane kodwa uma sisodwa siyabizana ngazo. Uma ngibizwa umuntu, ngiyamkhombisa ukuthi isitabane yinto enjani,” kusho uKhumalo.
Uthe uyafisa ukushada kodwa akekho oyogqoka ingubo yomshado phakathi kwabo. Mayelana nelobolo, uthe kuyoya ngokuthi bavumelana ngani emndenini. UKhumalo ukhulisa indodana kamfowabo eneminyaka eyisikhombisa athi imbiza ngobaba futhi uyoyichazela konke uma isikhulile. Ngesonto elizayo sizobheka kabanzi kwabesifazane.