The things dogs would never say...

London - The success of Pudsey, the dancing dog, and Uggie, the Hollywood sensation, means dogs have never been more popular.

Ashleigh Butler and Pudsey become first ever dog trick act to win Britain's Got Talent, while Uggie is a trained Jack Russell Terrier famous for his roles in Mr. Fix It, Water for Elephants, and most recently The Artist

Uggie the dog, from the movie The Artist, performs on the red carpet. Credit: REUTERS

But if these famous dogs have got you hankering for one of your own, you could know what you are letting yourself in for by reading my list of things dogs would never say, even if they could speak: