INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPERS

Too busy playing to eat? Picture Adrian de Kock

Self-esteem is one of the most valuable gifts that parents can give their children.

Self-esteem is very dependent on the experiences we have as we are growing up. Sport plays a significant role in providing many of these experiences, and thus in shaping our self-esteem in our formative school years.

But what is “self-esteem”?

It can be defined as “what our subconscious believes to be true about how worthy, lovable, valuable and capable we are”.

Three factors have a strong relationship with self-esteem:

First, children would like to believe they are creatures of free will who have a degree of control over their destiny. Don’t we all?

Second, children want to feel accepted, and treated as a valued part of a group or team.

Third, we all strive for a sense of competence, and as we interpret our experience as progress or success, so we become more confident and more inclined to take risks in the future: success breeds success.

Sport allows our children to experience all of these.

So what can we as parents, and possibly even coaches, do to build self-esteem in our young sports stars?

* Most importantly, never do anything that will harm the self-esteem of your children; err on the side of encouragement rather than criticism.

* Make sure you teach your young players to be accountable and responsible for what they do both on and off the field.

* Teach them that they can control many of the “controllables” in sport and life, but some things they simply cannot control and they need to accept this.

* Create a positive culture in their sporting environment; continuously provide positive reinforcement and create a sense of acceptance and belonging.

* Teach them to have realistic expectations about what they can achieve, without clipping their wings too much.

* Make them feel appreciated.

* Reward success, and even more so, effort.

Above all, always remember that you have a significant influence on their lives and play a vital part in shaping their future. Parents who are a positive influence on the side of the field are most likely to be doing an excellent job in raising great kids at home as well. - The Mercury