Would you breastfeed your six-year-old?

Published Mar 15, 2010

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By Barbara Davies

London - Rebecca Hunter's son was three years old when she stopped breastfeeding him in public - she carried on in private until he was six.

It wasn't the comments from strangers that drove her indoors, it was the cutting remarks she faced from her own friends.

"I hope you're not going to be one of those women who breastfeeds until her child is old enough to know what boobs are for," said one.

And from another: "I've heard that women who long-term breastfeed do it only because they get a sexual thrill out of it."

But experience suggests that while the benefits of breast over bottle have long been established for babies, not many people will have sympathy with the women who choose to continue beyond infancy.

Society tends to shy away from long-term breastfeeders as odd, freakish, even slightly perverse.

Yet, according to a new book by health writer Ann Sinnott, who conducted the largest ever survey, the number of mothers breastfeeding their children beyond the age of two is on the increase.

More intriguingly, she discovered that most of them are educated, middle-class professionals who are so convinced of the benefits that they are prepared to fight back against cultural expectations - and sometimes the disapproval of their own husbands - to feed their children up to school age and beyond.

"What thoughts come to mind at the notion of children aged eight and older breastfeeding?" asks Sinnott, whose 17-year-old daughter was breastfed till the age of six-and-a-half.

"You will think of sex and possibly think the mother is sexually deviant. You will also think of emotional disturbance in both the mother and child.

"What is the basis for such thoughts? Is there any evidence? The answer to that, of course, is no. The basis for such judgments is cultural."

Sinnott herself had not planned to breastfeed long-term. "When my daughter was about six months old I began to consider the possibility that I would feed her myself for two years or so.

"In fact, her pleasure and enjoyment of breastfeeding, together with her evident emotional and physical health, seamlessly carried us beyond that boundary."

Mother-of-two Rebecca Hunter, who runs a flower essences business in Ilkley, West Yorks, says: "It doesn't shock people in other countries. It's only abnormal in this country."

Married to acupuncturist Stephen, the 43-year-old breastfed her nine-year-old son Jamie until just before his sixth birthday, and six-year-old Oscar until he was four.

Like most other long-term breastfeeders, she insists she took her cue from her children.

"It was a matter of: 'Why stop?' It suited us. Jamie needed to feed a lot, and I started to read up on it and the benefits that babies and children continue to get from it."

When she gave birth to Oscar, when Jamie was three, she carried on feeding them both together.

Having read several books on the subject, she was convinced she was doing the best for her child.

Other mothers could be forgiven for feeling confused about breastfeeding. The varying advice they are given by health bodies certainly doesn't help.

According to the Department of Health: "Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended for the first six months of a baby's life. Beyond this stage, breastfeeding should continue for as long as the mother and baby wish."

The World Health Organisation is more explicit: "Breastfeeding should continue for up to two years of age or beyond."

But in Britain today, most women feeding their child in accordance with the World Health Organisation recommendations would run the risk of being ridiculed by strangers - if not friends and family.

The most up-to-date figures - from the British Infant Feeding Survey 2005 - show that while 76 percent of mothers were breastfeeding at birth, only 63 percent were feeding after one week and only 48 percent by six weeks.

By six months, only 25 percent of mothers still breastfeed.

As a result, says Sinnott, "It's not surprising most health professionals regard early breastfeeding cessation as normal".

Mother-of-three Rachel Maudsley, 37, finished breastfeeding her four-year-old daughter, Freya, just a few months ago.

"I have raised a few eyebrows," she admits. "Most people don't know someone who feeds an older child. But no one has ever asked me to stop. People are usually far more curious than negative."

Rachel, who works as a counsellor for the National Breastfeeding Helpline, breastfed her first daughter, now aged eight, for eight months before moving her onto formula milk.

Having realised the long-term benefits of breastfeeding, she decided to continue for longer with her second daughter, who is now six.

The middle girl stopped feeding when she was 19 months old, and Rachel was pregnant with Freya.

"It's through my work that I have been educated about natural weaning and the benefits that it brings through childhood," she says.

"My children are all confident, but my youngest is especially secure and was never a clingy child. I can count on one hand the number of times she's been ill.

"Unlike the other two, she never suffered from eczema or had an upset tummy." And as her daughter got older, she began feeding less and less.

"Whenever she wanted to feed, she would just ask for 'booby'. We never had a routine - it was quite often random. When she got older, it was not a regular occurrence."

As a long-term breastfeeder, she's found herself in the minority. "I went to a breastfeeding group when she was two," she recalls, "and some of the mums of the newborns were shocked.

"They said: 'Oh my goodness, you're still feeding her?' They didn't know you could feed a child of that age."

But having read up on the subject and spoken to other mothers, Rachel was confident her daughter would stop breastfeeding in her own time.

"Baby-led weaning, as we call it, is allowing a child to come away from the breast on their own," she says.

"This is what animals do - like cats feeding their kittens. The natural weaning age is actually six. That's when children lose their milk teeth, have a solid bone structure and a developed immune system.

"My daughter stopped on her own because she started going to school, so she was ready for the next stage of her life.

"It was quite gradual - she was getting older and her two older sisters were an influence as well. She could see them drinking out of cups and wanted to do the same."

Rachel admits that some members of her family found her long-term feeding rather strange - her own mother had given her formula. "They had to get used to it," she says bluntly.

She adds: "One health professional just this week said to me that there is no nutritional value to feeding a child once they are eating solids from around six months.

"When I told her I'd fed my child until the age of four - and about the benefits - she was inquisitive. But no one has told me that I'm freaky or abnormal, at least not to my face."

As one mother who took part in Sinnott's survey revealed: "In the mornings when I am getting dressed I try to whip on my T-shirt really fast because if any of my children catch a glimpse of me naked, their faces light up and they immediately dive on top of me looking for a feed."

Rightly or wrongly, the image given is that of an indulged, emotionally dependent child in control of their mother, despite the fact that there is plenty of historical evidence to show that long-term breastfeeding was once the norm.

And mothers who carry on feeding their children do so believing that the children themselves will eventually stop when the time is right.

But what about the father's role in all of this? "Some really struggle," admits Sinnott.

"They feel excluded and jealous towards the child and mother. It's very hard for fathers." Other women who took part in Sinnott's survey echo this.

One explained: "It has caused great problems in my marriage and is something I am working to try to resolve.

"But my instincts are so strong to breastfeed that I do put the children before my husband and have just gone on with it regardless."

And another: "We are now nearly divorced. Breastfeeding wasn't the only reason, but it has been one of the biggest issues that highlighted how dysfunctional and abusive he was."

According to Sinnott, a male partner is twice as likely to be supportive to the mother if he was breastfed himself.

And what about the majority of mothers? Even if they accept the benefits to a child of long-term breastfeeding, for most mothers in Britain today the concept is hardly practical, especially at a time when the Government is encouraging new mothers back to work with nursery vouchers and tax credits.

All the women who spoke to the Mail either work from home - as did Sinnott - or are self-employed. Most mothers would wince at the prospect of having to express and store milk in the workplace.

It's a problem Sinnott acknowledges, and while she argues that many working mothers find continued breastfeeding keeps them bonded to their children, for most it is undoubtedly too difficult.

Small wonder that many surrender to the temptations of the bottle. The key question is whose needs come first - the mother's or the child's?

The stance taken by most health professionals is that the mother's happiness is paramount; that a happy mother makes for a happy baby.

Too much pressure to perform as a source of milk, goes the argument, is not helpful either. If the benchmark is raised from six months to two years, even more women will be left feeling guilty about their failure to hit the target.

Maggie Fisher, chair of the Health Visitors' Forum and member of Unite Community Practice Nurse and Health Visitors' Association, has spent years offering support to first-time mothers.

"There is a lot of guilt surrounding breastfeeding," she says, referring to how soon women stop doing it.

"We want to support people to make healthy choices, but they've also got to do what's comfortable and feels right for them. It should be enjoyable. You don't want to make them feel they have to justify themselves.

"In practice, as a health visitor, my biggest problem is getting parents to start breastfeeding, and if you can get them going beyond six months you really think you're winning."

But Sinnott - and Rebecca, Rachel and Jane - would argue that, with more support, women would enjoy breastfeeding their children for longer, and the needs of both mother and her child would be met.

Whatever the truth of the matter, most would agree that those women who decide to give up breastfeeding after only a few months should not be made to feel guilty.

The benefits of human breast milk are still being discovered. Most recently, because of its stem cell content, it has been used in cancer therapy in the US.

At a time when developed nations such as Britain are suffering epidemics of obesity, diabetes and heart disease, what hidden wonders might it still hold for those children who continue feeding from their mothers?

In the end, Sinnott admits: "Little or nothing is known about long-term breastfeeding in industrialised western settings."

If nothing else, her book offers a powerful argument for further research into the long-term physical and emotional benefits of long-term breastfeeding.

If there really is a possibility that we can improve the health of the nation's children, surely the very least we should do is ask more questions - however unpalatable the whole idea may be to many of us. - Daily Mail

- Breastfeeding Older Children by Ann Sinnott is published by Free Association Books.

Additional reporting: Jenny Stocks, Daily Mail

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