Do parenting manuals really help?

Almost 50 percent said their daughters read books by childcare experts Ford and Tracy Hogg, with many also turning to blogs and websites.

Almost 50 percent said their daughters read books by childcare experts Ford and Tracy Hogg, with many also turning to blogs and websites.

Published May 3, 2013

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London - When it comes to raising children, they purport to have the answers to just about everything.

But modern parenting manuals are so overbearing that they actually stunt mothers’ natural instincts.

This, at least, is the view of an army of women who are experts on the topic in their own right: grandmothers.

More than a third of British grandmothers feel that so-called parenting “gurus” have eroded natural maternal abilities, with experts such as Gina Ford, pioneer of the controversial “controlled crying” technique, stopping mothers from thinking for themselves.

What’s more, many grandmothers, who brought their own children up in the 1970s and 1980s, believe they themselves are a much better source of information.

Although childcare advice has been around for more than a century, it was only in the past few decades that the cult of the “celebrity” childcare guru has blossomed.

Helped by the internet, the amount of information aimed at new mothers has reached overwhelming proportions.

Yet, in a poll by Grannynet, a social networking site for grandparents, 60 percent of respondents said they had no need for a parenting book when they were expecting or when their children were growing up. Almost 65 percent said they took advice instead from their mother or mother-in-law, while 46 percent said they simply listened to their own instincts.

A further 37 percent said they listened to a health visitor and 28 percent said they got tips from friends.

Of the 38 percent that did refer to a parenting book when younger, the most popular titles were from doctors including Dr Benjamin Spock, the 1950s parenting sensation. Others took advice from stores including Mothercare and Marks & Spencer.

In contrast, the grandmothers said their daughters were increasingly turning to parenting “gurus” for tips on how to bring up their own children.

Almost 50 percent said their daughters read books by childcare experts Ford and Tracy Hogg, with many also turning to blogs and websites.

However, only 16 percent of grandmothers surveyed said they regarded such guides as “very helpful”.

More than 20 percent felt they were actually “quite harmful”, with comments including “too many offering different advice”. One grandmother said: “Some are very good at making mothers feel guilty”.

Verity Gill, founder of Grannynet, said: “We have been seeing more and more grandmothers talking about their concerns on the forum about the effect parenting books were having on their children.

“They feel new moms are getting very confused and hung up on advice issued by the overwhelming amount of parenting books out there.

“We think it’s important for mothers to be encouraged to discover their own inner instincts – something books can overlook.” - Daily Mail

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