By Dr Joan Campbell
The media has highlighted the increasing level of sexual abuse at schools. The seriousness of sexual offences involving youths is finally beginning to receive the attention it deserves from parents, teachers and health professionals.
For too long, too many professionals and the broader community have felt that children are engaging in harmless "sex play", or excused the behaviour with comments such as "boys will be boys".
It is important for parents to realise that sexual misconduct and sexual abuse are not limited to communities with poor socio-economic conditions - such offences are also prevalent among middle-and upper-class schools.
As a professional specialising in sexual behaviour and sexual offences, I have been involved in educating parents as well as pupils on the subject of sexuality and the prevention of sexual abuse for more than a decade.
I have responded to requests from schools to assess pupils and manage inappropriate sexual behaviour on the school premises.
During the past year there has been an unusual increase in schools approaching me to assist in dealing with sexual misconduct and sexual offences among pre-primary, primary and senior school pupils.
Some of the offences are also becoming more violent.
It is also evident that a new type of sexual interest has emerged among pupils: downloading pornography on cellphones, as well as making video recordings of sexual acts using cellphones.
First, I would like to focus on the cause of the increase in inappropriate behaviour among pre-school children.
It has become the norm to send young children to creche, nursery school or aftercare centres. At these facilities, children have different value systems and different degrees of exposure to, experience of and knowledge about sex.
They inevitably share their knowledge and re-enact their sexual experiences with their peers.
With the lack of parental sex education, coupled with a child's lack of shyness about nudity and physical boundaries, some of these children often engage in inappropriate and sometimes abusive sexual acts.
Furthermore, the sexual abuse of children is still on the increase and research shows that most young victims re-enact their abuse on a peer.
With the general degeneration of morals within families, the high incidence of divorce, and the lack of boundaries within the home, sexual misconduct among primary and senior school pupils are also on the increase. There seems to be a vast increase in primary school pupils downloading pornography on their cellphones. Even pupils as young as Grade 4 are now downloading pornography on their cellphones.
Some Grade 6 and 7 children download pornographic images and send these via Bluetooth to friends at R5 each to cover the cost.
Some pupils make a profit, and consequently continue distributing porn among their peers.
But many of these pupils are not problematic; they simply download pornographic images on their cellphones because they can. Parents have facilitated the process by giving children access to electronic equipment without education, boundaries or consequences.
Although there is an element of fun and naughtiness in this behaviour for some children, it requires an adult response; some guidance to teach them their behaviour is illegal, and could have serious consequences.
Pornography on the cellphones of young children could lead to excessive exposure to explicit sex, which increases the possibility of sexual misconduct and even sexual abuse.
The pupil could establish a pre-occupation with sex and develop deviant sexual interests and fantasies. Excessive exposure to pornography at primary school level could also lead to early sexual indulgence.
There has also been a worrying increase in adolescents recording themselves engaged in sex acts on their cellphones. In some cases, these sexual activities even take place on the school premises or in school hostels. Pupils try to impress their peers, and the recorded evidence is seen as a "trophy".
Pupils who record their sexual encounters often demonstrate controlling, possessive, intrusive and domineering characteristics.
Alternatively, the child who allows herself or himself to be recorded while having sex could be emotionally troubled, without personal boundaries, suffering from low self-esteem and lacking higher moral reasoning.
Often, this problematic behaviour is a cry for help, an indication that emotional needs are not being met. The realisation that you have participated in a pornographic video, which could be distributed to peers and on the Internet, can leave victims depressed, even suicidal.
The indiscretion has the power to ruin their future.
Such sexual misconduct is often fuelled by negative role models in the home and community.
Too many parents lack the adequate moral fibre to teach children wrong from right. The children are undisciplined and act as if they are untouchable.
South African culture also has a deep-rooted patriarchal system and a general lack of respect for females.
Sexual misconduct and abuse can be prevented.
Parents need to take responsibility by first creating a neutral home environment which reflects a healthy sexual socialisation.
Second, parents need to "sex-educate" their children, and mould their understanding of sex and sexual boundaries, starting at pre-school level.
Research shows children who are sex-educated by their parents and given sexual boundaries are less promiscuous than peers who have no sexual boundaries or parental sex education.
Pornography gives children a very limited emotional understanding of sexuality.
It is the responsibility of the parent to convey the correct information to the child. When the communication channels are open, and a child is exposed to inappropriate sexual behaviour or pornography, the parent should define the correct behaviour and discuss the values portrayed and the meaning of the message presented.
By ignoring the manner in which sex is portrayed in the media - including pornography - the parent conveys to the child that the message is condoned.
Schools should also take some responsibility and educate pupils from pre-school level to Grade 12 concerning the risk of sexual misconduct and abuse, and implement prevention strategies.
It is also advisable that schools inform pupils and parents of the consequences of sexual misconduct and abuse on the school premises in their code of conduct.
It is the parents' responsibility to ensure that their children behave themselves in a socially acceptable manner.
When a child is guilty of continual sexual misconduct or sexual abuse on the school premises, and efforts to treat the child have been unsuccessful, it is my opinion that the child should be removed from the school to protect fellow pupils.
It is also important that facilities are put in place to support the child who is removed from a school until he or she is socially equipped to be reintegrated.
- Dr Joan Campbell is a child and family therapist practising in Cape Town.