London - Most medical research into sleep habits over the past ten years suggests that couples who share a bed tend to live longer and stay healthier than those who sleep alone.
One recent study found that women in long-term relationships fell asleep faster and woke up less often than single women, leading to them having lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone that has been linked to heart disease and depression.
Another report claimed that sharing a bed boosts emotional well-being.
Well, goodness knows how! Because, as most married people will attest, trying to get a decent night’s sleep with your partner can be a real challenge.
From stealing the covers to snoring, a spouse can turn sleeping by your side into a recipe for insomnia and arguments rather than good health and happiness.
So what can you do to make sleeping together more harmonious? Read on...
Buy a big bed
With research suggesting that the average person will turn 60 to 70 times in the night, having enough space to stretch out and not be disturbed by your partner’s movements is the first consideration for a good night’s sleep.
“One of the main reasons why many couples fail to sleep well is that they are in a bed that’s far too small for them,” says Dr Nerina Ramlakhan, a sleep expert at The Nightingale Hospital in London. “A standard, 4ft 6in (167cm) wide double bed gives two adults just 2ft 3in of width each - that’s the same width as the average cot.”
According to The Sleep Council, the trade association for British bed-makers, the easiest way to check if you have enough space in bed is to lie on your back next to your partner on the mattress, with your hands behind your heads, elbows out to either side. If your elbows touch, the bed is too small.
Use a bolster
Sharing the bed with a restless sleeper is no fun.
If you are fed up with finding an elbow in your ear and a knee in your back in the early hours, but can’t afford a bigger bed or the room is too small for one, creating a physical barrier down the centre of the bed is one solution.
“A pillow down the centre will solve the problem, but it takes up a lot of room and is easily shoved aside,” says Dr Ramlakhan.
Instead, try the Mega Bed Bumper (purpledaisies.co.uk) - a long, slim foam wedge usually used to stop small children tumbling out of bed. Alternatively, slip a foam swimming noodle (a long, thin, cylindrical float) down the centre of the bed, under your bottom sheet.
Get two duvets
Another common cause of sleep disturbance is stolen covers. “If you and your partner fight over the duvet during the night, then the simplest answer is to get your own set of bed covers,” says Dr Ramlakhan.
You can still have one fitted bottom sheet over the whole mattress, but then she recommends buying two duvets to cover each side of the bed separately. “This stops cover-stealing and allows each of you to have a cover in a weight and texture that suits you.”
According to sleep expert Dr Robert Oexman, of the Sleep To Live Institute in the US, sleeping under separate covers - which he advocates in his clinic - is the one piece of advice that engenders most resistance from couples. But once they try it, he says, “they say it’s the tip that has helped them most”.
If you are concerned about how it might look aesthetically, you can buy a large counterpane to put over both duvets, so the bed looks neatly “made up” during the day.
Try Hybrid beds
He likes a rock-hard mattress, you prefer something softer. Dr Guy Meadows, founder of The Sleep School, in London, says it’s crucial to invest in a good-quality mattress that has been designed to accommodate couples’ often completely different needs.
“Look for individual single mattresses that zip together, so you can customise the firmness on each side of the bed - or choose a shared mattress that doesn’t transmit movement from one side of the bed to the other,” he says.
Linx Beds (linxbeds.co.uk) have 12 different single beds and mattresses - from orthopaedic to memory foam - that can all be zipped and linked together to create your perfect hybrid king-size bed.
If you prefer to share a mattress, the Silentnight Mirapocket (bensonsforbeds.co.uk) is cleverly designed for “minimal partner disturbance”. The 2 000 small springs in it help to spread weight evenly across the mattress and stop the dreaded “roll together”, where couples end up squashed close in the middle of the bed. If temperature is an issue, the Therapur Rapport mattress, (dreams.co.uk) has a quilted top and 2cm Actigel layer over its pocket springs, which will help to accommodate individual body-temperature differences while you sleep.
Keep cool
If you like different temperatures in bed - and couples so often do - then the his’*’hers silk duvet, (silksleep.com) is split 50/50, with one side a cosy 9 tog and the other a lightweight 3.5 tog.
The Dreamland Intelliheat double fleece mattress cover (johnlewis.com) has sensors that detect changes in your body heat and the room temperature during the night, and adjust the cover’s heat accordingly.
It also has dual controls, so you can turn it up or off without your partner knowing!
Banish snoring
A recent survey of 11 000 adults found that a partner’s snoring was the noise that gave most people sleepless nights.
To minimise the likelihood of snoring, Dr Guy Meadows suggests sleeping on your side, to keep the airways open.
“Avoid sedatives such as alcohol and antihistamines before bed, as these promote greater airway relaxation and collapse, and therefore more snoring,” he says.
To drown out the sound, Dr Nerina Ramlakhan recommends flooding your bedroom with a low-level background sound, which can be anything from the sound of static to rain or a cat purring. Even though it may not seem loud enough, such “white noise” can effectively mask loud snorts and snuffles.
“Something as simple as the noise of an electric fan running in the bedroom can help a lot,” says Dr Nerina. Alternatively, there are white-noise apps such as myNoise or White Noise that you can download to your smartphone or MP3 player and play throughout the night.
If trying to drown out the sound fails, invest in a good pair of earplugs. Experiment with different types to get the best fit or go for a silcone pair which can be moulded to fit any ears exactly.
Set two alarms
There’s nothing more annoying than being unnecessarily woken by your partner’s alarm clock.
If the two of you need to be up at different times, it’s well worth buying a personal “silent” alarm that will do its job without disturbing your sleeping partner.
The iLUV SmartShaker (argos.co.uk) is a neat, biscuit-shaped, vibrating alarm that can be set via Bluetooth from your smartphone, then slipped under your pillow to wake you with a buzzing vibration rather than a traditional ring - perfect if you don’t want your other half to hear it or you’ve had to resort to earplugs to drown out their snoring.
Don’t have sex
Recent French research suggests that sex can help couples fall asleep more quickly. Neuroscientist Serge Stoleru found that after sex, our brains - particularly male brains - are flooded with sleep-inducing chemicals such as serotonin.
But Dr Meadows isn’t convinced that it always works.
“For some, sex can have a powerful relaxing - and therefore sleep-inducing - effect caused by release of the hormone prolactin immediately after an orgasm,” he says. “But for others it can act like a stimulant, waking people up more with a release of adrenalin and a rise in core body temperature.”
Maybe, on reflection, a cup of cocoa and a good book aren’t such a bad idea after all.
Daily Mail