A personal trainer, a a porn star, a model for gay magazines, and an aesthetic physician: women who date these men reveal what it's like.
The personal trainer's girlfriend:
Nazley Allie, 28, owns a beauty salon and has been dating Lloyd Naicker, 26, for a year.
Nazley says: Lloyd's clientele is 90 percent female, so when he's at work I know he's surrounded by women, many of whom have great bodies. But Lloyd always makes me feel special and manages to make time for me despite his hectic schedule, so insecurity never seeps into our relationship. The irony is that many of his clients are insecure despite being in great physical shape.
Lloyd and I met at the gym when I was training with a different instructor. Now I work out with him four times a week and it's great having an hour a day to focus solely on each other - even if the conversation is one-sided because I'm huffing and puffing. He makes it fun for me to stay fit and healthy.
Lloyd's motto is, You enjoy life and I'll look after your training.' He doesn't watch what I eat so I don't feel pressure to obsess over my figure. The only time I battled with my weight was after I had my daughter, Mushfiqah, four years ago. I could've done with his expertise then!
The hardest aspect of living with a personal trainer is dealing with his sleep deprivation. Lloyd works weekends and during the week, often from 5am to 10.30pm and he gets more exhausted as the week goes on. Recently he got up at 4.30am, worked all day, came home at 10.30pm and then we had clients for dinner until midnight.
"It was hectic, but it's important to me to meet his clients so I don't feel excluded from that part of his life. His hours can also affect our social life - it's more likely to be take aways than a fancy restaurant.
Lloyd loves his job and he's great at it, so I never wish he did something else. The qualities he carries into our relationship are the ones that make him such a fantastic trainer - he's personable, amazingly encouraging and supportive.
Lloyd says: I started competitive body building when I was 19, so becoming a personal trainer was a natural progression. Many of my clients are women and it's physical work, so I know that my job has the potential to make Nazley feel insecure - if she were paranoid, there would be room for misinterpretation. But I never touch anyone in a flirtatious manner and I tell her that she's the only one for me, so she never has to worry.
As a personal trainer I often end up focusing on clients' emotional issues as well and this has helped make me a more understanding partner. Women often feel neglected by their partners and that makes them neglect themselves. I don't want that to happen to Nazley.
I love helping people feel confident and gorgeous and I make my clients see exercise as a form of pampering rather than a chore. But it's tiring work, and I sometimes wish I could be more energetic for Nazley. I'm lucky she's understanding - and very beautiful, too!
Lloyd is a personal trainer at the Gardens Virgin Active in Cape Town. Contact him on 076 677 3787.
The gay times model's girlfriend:
Students Samantha James* 23, and Michael Irving*, 24, have been together for two years.
Samantha says: When the Gay Times hit the shelves with Michael in his underwear on the cover, it was quite a talking point. The picture was emailed around by all his friends and he got a lot of stick, but I'm totally comfortable with Michael doing gay shoots. He does all kinds of modelling and I find it far less threatening when he models for gay publications than when he gets up close and personal with a gorgeous girl for a fashion shoot.
Gay guys obviously find Michael attractive, but it's just another job for him and he doesn't take it seriously - so I don't either. I don't have any doubt about his sexuality and I'm not worried that others will think he's gay because people who know him understand he's just doing a job. We were both quite relieved that some of the other photographs from the shoot weren't published, though - they were more explicit, of him and another guy, and that might have been slightly more embarrassing for him.
Do I get turned on watching him get close to another guy? If he's with a beautiful, effeminate boy, I can't say I'd mind, although he'd never take it further than a shoot in which he'd be wearing underwear. By contrast, I'm bisexual and although I'm fairly possessive, I would let another woman in for a threesome.
Michael has a lot of admirers and some of our male and female friends are clearly attracted to him, but that's natural. I'm more bothered by what he thinks of other women than what they think of him. Because of his work in the modelling world, he likes extremely skinny women. We were recently browsing through an Internet chat room together and he described a woman who I thought was pretty slim as really chubby'.
I never feel embarrassed about Michael's work and I don't hide it from my friends and family although they often think it's funny that I'm dating a hot model because I usually go for intellectuals.
"But he's one of the smartest guys I have dated, and that's changed my preconceptions about models. I guess we want to think all models are stupid because we don't like the idea that they have it all. My mom doesn't give his modelling career a second thought, whether it's for gay or straight publications, but his parents are more conservative and he hasn't told them about the gay shoots.
The only time Michael's modelling restricts our relationship is in season when I have to be careful not to leave marks on his body as he needs to look perfect at castings. I have to tame myself a little in the bedroom but not too much!
Michael says: I decided to try modelling when a friend said it was fun. I see my work for Gay Times as a shoot like any other although I wouldn't be very likely to do a totally nude shoot - skimpy briefs are my limit. My modelling is not an issue between Samantha and me. We both know it's just a small aspect of my life, not my purpose.
Samantha doesn't mind mixing with models and I always take her along to model parties. For me, it's just about being with friends and I think she really enjoys the free drinks! Modelling has given me confidence and enabled me to meet exciting people from all over the world - models certainly aren't all as brain dead as they're made out to be.
The porn star's lover:
Sonia Nasr, 23, a production manager, lives with Marino Franchi, 39.
Sonia says: Marino has sex with other women on a daily basis. He's a porn star so having sex is his job. When he gets home, we don't talk about his day in detail because I know what it involves. I'd prefer it if he worked in a bank, but he's extremely successful at what he does.
A friend introduced me to Marino and I thought he was irresistible. I wasn't shocked about his job. I assumed we'd have a fling and wasn't planning to have a long-term relationship with him. We had sex for the first time after our third date, and it was over in 30 seconds. He might be a porn star but he's still a guy. We have a great sex life now and it's because of the connection between us rather than special expertise. I do like to experiment and we've had threesomes and gone to swinging parties.
People assume that Marino is well endowed, but I think he has an average sized penis. It's perfect looking and he knows how to use it. Right now our sex life isn't brilliant because Marino works hard. It's annoying when I feel like making love and he's been having sex for seven hours a day and comes home exhausted. Marino gets a kick out of his job and is attracted to his co-stars, but I'm confident in our relationship. I sometimes worry that he's having better sex with someone else, but it's me he comes home to every night.
If our roles were reversed Marino would hate it - when we have a threesome he's very particular about which guys are allowed near me. The worst thing about dating a porn star has been telling my family and friends. My parents asked what my new boyfriend did for a living. I didn't see the point of lying, so I told them. They were horrified. It took a year for them to accept Marino, but now they know he's a good man and can see past his job.
I take a look at Marino's films occasionally. I've met the actresses he works with and they're nice, but I wouldn't be friends with them. Our life is normal. We walk our dogs and go on bike rides. Marino's started producing his own films so he'll be retiring from acting. That'll make me happier.
Marino says: Sonia's the first girlfriend I've had who isn't a porn star and I'm determined to make it work. I cook and go shopping, but I'm not very good at it. The best thing about dating a porn star is that when your love life is going right it's probably the best sex you'll ever have. But some days I come home sore and tired, and sex is off the menu.
If Sonia wanted to be a porn star, I wouldn't want our relationship to continue. We have threesomes with my male friends and she almost passes out from the pleasure. She's gorgeous and I couldn't be with anyone better.
The aesthetic physician's wife:
Annarika van der Merwe, 37, owns a fashion boutique and has been married to Marius for six years.
Annarika says: Marius wasn't working in aesthetics when we met, and since he's moved into the field, we have a lot more to talk about. How many women can discuss cellulite with their husband and learn something new? I get lots of inside info on the latest products and procedures, and get access to them before anyone else.
Marius is more aware of women's looks than other men, but that's to be expected. We've always been very open and if he thinks a woman is beautiful it's healthy for him to say so. His job doesn't affect our personal life, but if I don't like something about my body I can ask if I should do something about it and I know he'll give me a professional opinion rather than a disinterested yes, darling' or no, darling'.
Marius has worked on me several times. He's excellent and my only complaint is that I'm inevitably last on the waiting list. I've always enjoyed looking my best and being married to Marius hasn't increased the pressure to look perfect. I never meet his patients so I'm lucky that I don't get scrutinised.
I'm always honest about Marius' profession because I'm very proud of him. There's definitely far less stigma attached to procedures than there used to be. We all buy creams, lotions and clothes to make ourselves feel better, so why shouldn't we go a step further?
Most of my friends go to Marius for treatments, so there's definitely no disapproval there. We talk openly about it and I don't feel embarrassed that he's scrutinised their imperfections and neither do they. I enjoy the fact that my husband improves lives. I know that he's highly ethical and would never take advantage of a client's low self-esteem. He actively discourages patients from having procedures if he thinks it's unnecessary or for the wrong reasons.
Marius says: I started out as a GP, but found the work frustrating and repetitive, so I moved into something more creative. I like to make people look better rather than different and I believe that everyone would like to change something about themselves.
Women start to lose collagen at 25, men at 35, so most of my patients are women. Younger patients want to plump their lips and cheeks. Those in their 30s and older tend to focus on wrinkles. Some of my clients are in the public eye and want to look better in front of the cameras without having anything obvious done. They come to me because I understand subtlety.
I'm aware of appearances and notice flaws that other people don't, and I understand that even small imperfections can upset people when they see them daily. When Annie asks if she needs work, I don't ignore or humour her: I'm totally honest. I want her to feel as good as possible.
Marius practices at the Cape Town Medi-Clinic. Contact him on 082 447 883.
* Not their real names