‘Just be nice, cook, and have sex’

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Suzanne Venker says today's post-feminist culture is apparently preparing young women for perpetual singledom.

London - A new book titled How To Choose A Husband gives a 12-step guide on how to seek and then hook a man in today’s “post-feminist” culture, which is apparently preparing young women for perpetual singledom.

American author Suzanne Venker, who also wrote 7 Myths Of Working Mothers and The Flipsid Of Feminism, believes a submissive wife who gives up on her dreams for marriage and motherhood is the best way to maintain a lasting union.

The 45-year-old married mother-of-two explains: “Our post-feminist culture is toxic. It celebrates women at the exclusion of men; it ignores the needs of children; and it glorifies the single life… Sadly, more women than not will allow this poison to invade their bodies and even ruin their lives.”

Venker believes young women’s mothers – who drummed in the ideology that being an independent woman, with equal pay, was something to strive for – are to blame.

“(Mothers) did their daughters a great disservice. They were wrong to tell their daughters they could never rely on a man,” wrote the author, who has built a career on challenging feminism and questioning contemporary female freedoms.

On equal pay, she continues: “Women don’t make as much as men precisely because they don’t work the same number of hours. Women continue to take years off the job to care for their children or ageing parents or to live a more balanced life. Feminists leave that part out.

“You also need to recognise your enemy,” she adds. “Culture is working against you every step of the way… At the moment, the single greatest problem your generation faces is the relentless anti-male/pro-female rhetoric you’re exposed to. It’s inescapable.”

Venker believes that to have a happy marriage, it is these gender differences we have to embrace, rather than rail against.

For example: “Men are hunters. They want to build things and kill things – that’s why more men than women shoot guns,” she writes.

“It’s why male engineers greatly outnumber female engineers. Females, on the other hand, like to gather and nest – that’s why more women than men like to shop and bake, or stay home with their kids.

“Women also like to get all dressed up and prance about in their heels. And men love to watch women prance about in their heels. That’s the yin and yang of gender relations.”

In one chapter, she also asks that women “Decide To Stay”, a plea to ensure people don’t give up on marriage when things get tough, which seems like sound advice for men and women alike, regardless of their stance on gender equality for women.

In a case against daycare, nannies and full-time work, she also advises: “Accept It: You Can’t Have It All.”

“Making choices is part of life,” she writes. “You can’t go to every party. You can’t go on every vacation. You can’t go to every college. You have to choose.”

And above all, she writes of the ideal wife’s role: “Just be nice, cook, and have sex.”

Venker has faced criticism for her new book, which some have nicknamed: “How NOT to choose a husband.”

Slate’s Maya Benedikt wrote: “Venker thinks women like me – working mothers who expect things from their husbands – are unhappy, and are making their spouses and children unhappy too.”

And Yahoo’s Jessica Ferri said: “It’s a fairly large assumption to make – that all men want a return to a 1950s mentality, when their family was completely dependent on the success of their job. And just because a marriage survives doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a happy one.”

But Venker, who recently wrote an article titled The War On Men, in which she blamed the decline of marriageable males on feminists, insists that American women “need a detox”.

“If they want to be happy, or just plain satisfied, they must do a 180° when it comes to their attitude toward sex, courtship, and married life. If they do, marriageable men will reappear – and women will find the love that eludes them,” says her book. – Daily Mail

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