Cape Town - Spring has finally arrived, and along with wild flowers, lighter clothing and warmer weather, it has ushered in the start of the wedding season.
Author and wedding planning expert Pam Black shares her thoughts on everything, from venues to legal considerations and guest etiquette.
Budget
Black says the first thing to do once the engagement has taken place is decide on a date – and a back-up date. Step two is working out a budget, bearing in mind what kind of wedding you’d like.
She also advises that when planning a wedding, couples must be honest about what they want to spend, and then add an extra 10 percent for unforeseen costs. If the extras budget remains untouched, it becomes a bonus to be used for your new life together, says Black.
An average wedding can cost up to R100 000. Formal evening weddings are more expensive because you have to feed and entertain your guests for up to eight hours.
Black says there are ways to cut costs if you’re on a tight budget.
“The best way to reduce costs substantially is to host a breakfast, brunch or lunchtime event,” she says. This means a reduction in cost per head because there won’t be a three-course dinner, the bar bill will be lower, and decor costs for candles and lighting will be less.
Once you have decided on your budget and style of wedding, the next step is to write out your guest list.
Receptions usually account for about 50 percent of the total cost, so one of the best ways to reduce this is to cut back on the number of guests you invite, says Black. It won’t be easy, but will contribute to significant savings.
“Bear in mind that it is no longer considered impolite not to include “and partner” on the invitations to single, unattached friends,” says Black.
Remember the photographer and musicians must also be given a meal, and should be included in the headcount.
After the guest list has been decided, couples should look at venues.
Popular venues and photographers must be booked up to a year in advance, says Black.
Remember, there is no such thing as a “perfect wedding”. Black says she’s been to weddings that were wonderful, but behind the scenes there were almost always hitches. Couples who have been married for many years couldn’t remember their wedding details, yet often the small glitches were what made the occasion memorable.
Venues
These days, outdoor weddings seem to be the favoured venues. But Black warns that while these hold much romantic appeal, Cape Town’s unpredictable weather can be tricky.
“It continues to astound me how many couples planning beach or garden weddings look blank when asked about their back-up plans,” she says.
Couples often overlook important points about beach weddings. First on the list is that you need permission from the municipality.
Most beaches are public areas, which means that your wedding service is open to any passer-by. Black cautions that this could mean strangers in bathing costumes in your pictures.
Those who want to have a beach wedding must get a tide table because an unexpected rising tide could scupper the ceremony.
Black says that on hot days, guests at outdoor venues will need shelter. Should you be planning to have a solid-wall marquee in the summer heat, it might be wise to hire an air-conditioner as an optional extra in your budget, she says.
A fact that is often overlooked, says Black, is that if you plan to hold a garden or beach wedding you will be faced with having to hire everything from chairs and tables to tablecloths, waiters and marquees.
“Make a note to include all these costs when working out your budget, as they add up extremely quickly,” she says.
When it comes to outdoor weddings, speak to the marriage officer in advance about the legalities of marrying outdoors. Some may request that the vows and signing of the register is repeated indoors.
Black’s watchpoints
* Without the marriage officer, there can be no wedding. Before booking all your service providers, make sure your marriage officer is available on the date you’ve chosen.
* If no antenuptial contract is signed before the wedding, you are automatically married in community of property. This means that all property owned by either spouse becomes part of the joint estate. Take time out before your marriage to discuss your options with an attorney because it is costly to make changes after your wedding.
* It’s important to set aside time to meet the photographer before agreeing to his or her terms. It’s vital that you choose someone to whom you can relate and feel comfortable.
* Get everything in writing from the functions manager and all service providers, when making your bookings. Ensure you receive written confirmation of all that has been agreed upon so that, should there be a change in staff by the time your function takes place, you can provide proof of the agreement.
Guests’ wedding etiquette
* It’s good manners to RSVP as soon as possible, whether or not you’re attending. Once you have accepted the invitation, you need to attend, unless you have a solid excuse. Caterers usually ask for the final headcount about a week in advance of the day, so if you’re unable to be there then it’s considered polite to advise the couple timeously to avoid them having to pay for absentees.
* Arrive punctually so that you can be seated in good time. Black once asked a bride why she felt it necessary to arrive late at her wedding, and she replied that she wanted to make sure that the guests were all seated before her arrival.
* In the past it was unnecessary to tell guests what to wear to your wedding, but recent years have seen a trend towards more casual dressing. If the dress code is formal, men should leave the jeans in the cupboard and rather bring out the jacket and tie.
* It’s important to bear in mind that you have been invited by the couple to witness and share in this special day in their lives. You have not been invited to be the official reporter of the event on Twitter and Facebook, so rather be polite and switch off your phone or iPad and stay out of the way of the photographer and videographer.
* If the father of the groom (who is responsible for the bar tab) has kindly offered an open bar do not abuse it by ordering liqueurs or imported drinks you wouldn’t normally imbibe, and of course it goes without saying that you should watch your intake.
* Unless the master of ceremonies has stated otherwise, don’t assume that, as a guest, you can walk off with the table flowers or other items of decor. The bride might have other plans for them.
Wedding concepts to blow your breath away
Everyone dreams of hosting the perfect, unforgettable wedding that would take their guests’ breath away. If you have the budget, opulent, handcrafted designer weddings are definitely the way to go.
Kate Rawbone is the project manager for weddings and events at Wedding Concepts, which offer wedding planning services to select clients across the globe.
Regarding trends, Rawbone says that couples aren’t sticking to two or three colours anymore, but embracing a variety of vibrant colours that suit their overall look or concept – be it rustic, modern or retro. Luxurious palettes – mixed metallics combined with blush pinks, champagne and ivory – are still very chic, says Rawbone.
Botanical inspired weddings are replacing vintage weddings, and couples are becoming open to the idea of sticking not only to floral arrangements, but adding herbs, vegetables and indigenous flora.
Rawbone says that wine farms are still the most sought after wedding venues. The pros of outdoor venues are that they can accommodate 80 to 300 guests, often with spaces to host the ceremony, pre-dinner drinks and the reception. The chefs and restaurants on wine farms are some of the best in the country, she says.
On the downside, winelands temperatures can reach upwards of 35degC in summer and the heat can push up the drinks bill, says Rawbone. Distance, travelling times and suppliers’ fuel costs must be taken into consideration.
Rawbone says of weddings she’s planned, the sheer location makes it most memorable. She’s planned an exquisite marquee wedding in Victoria Falls on the banks of the Zambezi, and a destination wedding to Lion Sands in Kruger National Park.
But glamorous, opulent weddings also stand out. “Seeing 35 000 roses take shape is a sight to behold,” says Rawbone, describing a wedding planned by Wedding Concepts founder and managing director Christina Holt.
Cape Argus