Worried your man may be straying? Here, with the help of relationship experts, Peta Bee reveals the signs that could be a red flag. Your man is more likely to cheat if…
1 You earn more than he does. It will dent his ego, but could also harm your relationship. A 2010 study suggested men who were dependent on their partners for income, were five times more likely to cheat than those who contributed equally.
2 He works long hours. If your partner works such long hours that he spends less than 10 percent of his time with you, then there’s a one in 10 chance that he (or you) will be unfaithful.
According to the British Office for National Statistics, married couples with children spend only 75 minutes a day in each other’s company.
“A partnership shouldn’t be too claustrophobic, but it should focus on doing some things as a couple,” says Julia Cole, a couples’ counsellor and the author of a new book, After the Affair.
3 You live together before getting married. Many believe living together before getting hitched allows couples to get used to each other’s idiosyncrasies. But a Relate survey suggested those who live together but don’t marry are up to 40 percent more likely to be unfaithful than those who tie the knot.
4 His father or brother has had an affair. Scientists have uncovered a genetic link to infidelity. Two years ago, a study at the Karolinska Institute, in Stockholm, showed men who inherit a genetic variant that affects an important hormone called vasopressin are more likely to have marital problems.
5 He has a twin who cheats. If so, be careful he doesn’t mirror his sibling’s behaviour. Dr Lynn Cherkas, a genetic analyst in the department of twin research at St Thomas’s Hospital, London, found that identical twins were 200 percent more likely to be unfaithful if their twin had had an affair.
“A lot of twins have similar personalities and shared values, which could be the reason for such findings,” Cole says.
6 He’s been married before (but you haven’t). A paper published in the European Journal of Operational Research in 2009 tracked 1 000 couples who were either married or in relationships over five years. Researchers found a previous divorce lessened the chances of a relationship surviving, although this was less marked when both partners had been divorced before.
7 He’s sex-obsessed. One third of 1 468 men questioned admitted to viewing online pornography. According to Cole, men who use internet porn regularly are more likely to be unfaithful, because the habit can produce a deadening effect on emotions that can hurt relationships.
Cole says: “Excessive use of chat lines and porn can leave someone numb to the emotional responses they would feel in a relationship.”
8 You live in the countryside. A survey of 4 000 spouses conducted by a dating website, illicit encounters.com, revealed adulterers were more likely to live in rural areas.
In Dorset, 47 percent of respondents admitted to having had an affair, while the website has a disproportionately high number of members in the Western Isles of Scotland.
9 He was privately (or religiously) educated. A survey by illicit encounters.com found almost one quarter of the site’s 500 000 members attended private schools. A further 15 percent had attended religious schools.
Adam Scott, founder of the website, says: “People who feel restricted by cultural and religious ideals are often those who feel the need to marry at a young age. As a result, they are far more likely to feel frustrated in their partnership.”
10 He doesn’t like your family or friends. Relate says men risk losing a close-knit support group, and not just their spouse, if they stray.
11 He’s a social-networking enthusiast. One law firm, Divorce Online, claimed almost one in five petitions they processed cited Facebook. “I am seeing an increasing number of people whose partners have been unfaithful through one of the social networking methods,” says Cole.
12 He has a lower IQ than you. A recent study by Dr Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist from the London School of Economics and Political Science, revealed the smarter a man is, the less likely he is to cheat. – Daily Mail