London - The Seven Year Itch starring Marilyn Monroe appears to have got it all wrong about marriage.
It is after ten years together when relationships are at their rockiest, a study claims.
And it seems you have to wait until 35 years before your marriage becomes more harmonious than it was at the outset, researchers said.
In the largest study of its kind, more than 2 500 women were quizzed about the quality of their marriage from when they tied the knot until 35 years later. Questions included how happy they were, how often they laughed with their husband and how often they talked to each other about their days.
The women, who were born the late 1950s and early 1960s, and mainly got married in their mid-20s, were also quizzed about how often they argued about everything from sharing chores and childcare to money, drinking and other women.
Depressingly, in most of the marriages, happiness and communication started to decline from the beginning – and never improved. About 65 percent of the women said they were less and less happy in the marriage as time wore on.
And 85 percent talked to and laughed less with their spouse, with no sign of things getting better.
In a small number of cases, communication and happiness did start to grow again, but only after around 30 years. Even then levels of happiness and communication “did not return to honeymoon levels”, journal Social Science Research reported.
The study, from Brigham Young University in Utah, showed the early years of marriage to be marred by increasing numbers of rows, reaching a peak ten to 15 years in.
Couples on low salaries and who had lived together before marrying were more likely to have blazing rows. Division of childcare and chores may have been another flashpoint, the researchers said.
However, the study found there were fewer arguments after ten years, and by 35 years, couples seemed to agree on more than they did in the early years of marriage.
Dr Pam Spurr, a relationship expert and agony aunt, said: “It’s quite normal for relationships to go through periods of adjustment. With commitment, they can negotiate this phase and come out stronger.” - Daily Mail