A conversation has the potential to degenerate into an argument where even the most trivial of issues can be the root of it.
The issue could have someone fight passionately for it or against it and it can make or break a situation within a split second.
"A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somehow along the way, we have lost that balance. Part of that is due to technology," says Celeste Headlee, an American radio personality and opera singer.
In a Ted Talk conference, Headlee spoke about her personal realisation of conversational competence and how that might be the most overlooked skill failed to teach.
Headlee attributes our inability of honing interpersonal communication skills to hours spent on our phones that disables us in sustaining coherent, confident conversations.
According to a recent study, thousands of adults were found to be more divided than ever in history. They were less likely to compromise and were inattentive to the needs and opinions of other people.
Striking an interesting yet fun conversation and the realisation that you are losing a person's attention, can cause quite a few people to sweat.
Headlee perfected 10 ways to tap into your chatty side.
1. Don't multi-task. Be in the present.
Don't fidget with your phone and car keys while chatting because you could create a hot mess of the situation. Don't let your day's occurrences play out in your mind while conversing. If you want to get out of a conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it.
2. Don't preach. Be willing to learn.
Enter into a conversation assuming you have something to learn. Sometimes that means setting aside your own opinions.
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3. Use open-ended questions.
Start with questions with 'Who, What, When, Where, Why or How.' If you ask a complicated question, chances are you are going to get a simple answer. Ask questions that would cause them to pause and think about, returning an interesting response.
4. Go with the flow.
As thoughts come into mind, let them out. Don't always pre-plan your questions. Let the moment inspire your thoughts and conversation topics.
5. If you don't know something, say that you don't know.
Don't act as if you know everything, even though you can't fathom what was said to you. If you don't know something and you pretend to, it can end badly.
6. Don't equate your experience with theirs.
If someone tells you about the problems they experience at work, don't talk about how much you hate your boss. It's never the same. You shouldn't compare your feelings and situations to someone else's.
7. Try not to repeat yourself.
It is condescending and boring. Don't make the same point over and over again.
8. Listening.
One of the most important skills we should develop.
"Why do we not listen to each other? We would rather talk. When I'm talking, I'm in control. We learn more when we listen and vice versa, Headlee adds.
9. Be brief.
Cut the long story short. Nobody likes to be spoken to in riddles.
According to Headlee's sister, a good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
You would be amazed at how well people take to you, if you would just be attentive and understanding of how a conversation should be. Show interest in people and be open to learn just from listening.