How to spot a stalker

Sanaa Lathan plays Leah, a Los Angeles lobbyist who rebounds from her nearly perfect ex-boyfriend, Dave (Morris Chestnut), by hooking up with the way-too-perfect Carter (Michael Ealy).

Sanaa Lathan plays Leah, a Los Angeles lobbyist who rebounds from her nearly perfect ex-boyfriend, Dave (Morris Chestnut), by hooking up with the way-too-perfect Carter (Michael Ealy).

Published Sep 28, 2015

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Washington - A box office winner in the US (and now on limited release in South Africa), The Perfect Guy is a thriller you’ve probably seen before: a nice, normal woman gets involved with a hot guy, only to realise he’s a maniacal sociopath.

It’s precisely the same storyline as Fear (Mark Wahlberg’s character in the 1996 film seems charming at first, but then shows his dark side to Reese Witherspoon and her family) and Sleeping with the Enemy (the characters of Patrick Bergin and Julia Roberts seem to be a perfect happily married couple, but the reality is very different.)

That’s not to mention two J.Lo movies: Enough (in which her working-class character discovers that the wealthy contractor she has married, played by Billy Campbell, can dish out the emotional and physical abuse) and The Boy Next Door (in which her one-night stand with a younger neighbour turns into a dangerous obsession).

With a simple gender swop, you can also add Fatal Attraction, The Crush and Swimfan to that list.

In this case, Sanaa Lathan plays Leah, a Los Angeles lobbyist who rebounds from her nearly perfect ex-boyfriend, Dave (Morris Chestnut), by hooking up with the way-too-perfect Carter (Michael Ealy). There’s a very large difference between nearly perfect and too perfect, the movie explains – and it can be deadly.

At a surprisingly well-attended screening I went to recently, cinemagoers got a good laugh thanks to Ealy’s over-the-top cartoon villainy and the movie’s ridiculous dialogue.

What’s also funny is the way the movie foreshadows Carter’s secret creepy side by his impossibly dreamy early scenes. If it seems too good to be true, then it is, the movie proves again and again.

Here are some of Carter’s red-flag qualities. Take heed:

 

He asks her about her feelings and really listens to the answer

On their first date, Carter asks Leah if there’s a man in her life, and she responds “not any more”.

“What happened?” he asks with sincere sensitivity and an inquisitive look in his impossibly beautiful eyes.

And that’s the moment that Leah should have known. Who opens up a get-to-know-you conversation by asking deep questions about past relationships? The type of guy who may one day break into your house and suck on your toothbrush.

 

He calls her the morning after their first date

US comedienne Amy Schumer had a funny scene in Trainwreck where her love interest calls her the morning after a one-night stand. At first she’s convinced that he pocket-dialled her. When he responds that he called her intentionally, she assumes he must be a stalker.

That’s a fairly accurate assessment of what happens after one-night stands/initial meetings, so Leah might have guessed that Carter would turn into a stalker when he calls her after their first date – even though she hasn’t given him her contact information.

Of course, in our online-centric society, it’s pretty easy to track down someone’s number in a matter of minutes – especially for Carter, who works in corporate espionage – but that doesn’t mean that any guy would actually do it. Unless of course they’re the kind of suitor who might be inclined to steal their love interest’s beloved cat.

 

He agrees to meet her parents even though they’ve just barely started dating

Leah isn’t sure she should even ask because she’s used to dealing with commitment phobes and she doesn’t want to scare Carter off. But her new beau doesn’t hesitate for a second. Of course he’d love to travel to San Francisco and stay with her parents for the long Fourth of July weekend. “For you, the answer is always yes,” he says. Which translates to: “You probably shouldn’t show me where your spare key is hidden, because I will use it one day after you’ve dumped me.”

 

He plays by mom and dad’s rules

Even though Leah is in her mid-30s and protests that she’s a “grown woman”, her mother insists that Leah and Carter stay in separate bedrooms during their visit. Parents are so embarrassing. Leah responds by doing what most adult children of conservative parents would do: she secretly sneaks into Carter’s room after everyone is asleep.

Carter isn’t having it, though, even when she tries to seduce him. He tells her that at her parents’ house they have to play by her parents’ rules and he sends her back to bed. Who does that? Only the kind of guy who would hack into your e-mail and monitor all your correspondence.

 

He butters up her annoying girlfriends

Every female protagonist needs a girlfriend to give our heroine some straight talk, and Leah has two, Alicia (Rutina Wesley) and Karen (Kathryn Morris). One afternoon, the women meet Carter and Leah for lunch so that they can give the yea or nay on the couple’s fledgling relationship.

In the tradition of cinematic besties, they proceed to ask him inappropriate questions, including probing queries about whether Carter, who was adopted, has ever tried to find his birth parents. But he maintains his sunny demeanour and calm composure. Of course, anyone who would put up with that is also the sort of person who might start making out with a lipstick-smudged wine glass he finds in his ex-girlfriend’s kitchen sink.

 

So what to do?

since the too-perfect guy turns out to be the really scary one, the movie also manages to give us some lessons about the type of guy that women should stick with.

He’s David (Chestnut’s character), and he’s a 35-year-old commitment phobe who is scared single by his parents’ divorce. He isn’t sure he ever wants kids and he isn’t sure he ever wants to get married, but he’d really like it if Leah just waited around for him. “I don’t want to wake up one morning hating you,” he reasons.

Isn’t that sweet? He’s definitely a keeper.

The Washington Post

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