Love means... not really meaning it

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Published Feb 13, 2014

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London - It might not be the most romantic thing to discover just before Valentine’s Day, but when a women says “I love you”, she may just be being polite.

A third of women have told a partner that they loved them when they didn’t, often because their partner had said it first and because they felt under pressure to say it in response.

A fifth of men admitted to doing the same thing.

Others replied to a declaration of love with a not-entirely truthful declaration of their own because “it seemed like the right thing to say”, according to the findings of a survey of 1 800 couples by UK adult retailer Lovehoney.

Just under a sixth of those questioned (15 percent) admitted they had said it when they hadn’t really meant it during the throes of passion.

While women are more likely to say those three little words without actually being in love, men are far more likely to say “I love you” first.

Just five percent of men said that they would wait for their girlfriends to say it first, whereas more than a fifth of women said they always waited for the man to declare his hand first.

While being the first to declare your love may be seen as romantic and daring, it does come with a strong element of risk and potential embarrassment.

Of those whose partners were the first to say “I love you”, about half said they had not said it back.

Women were the more honest sex here, with 59 percent of them saying they had not said it back, compared with just 41 percent of men.

The simple reason why so many people didn’t reciprocate is because they weren’t in love with their partner – as was the case with 74 percent of women and 62 percent of men in the survey.

However, a lot of people are pretty quick to lay their cards on the table – or their heart at someone’s feet.

More than half of those polled (59 percent) have said “I love you” to a new partner within the first month of dating.

Astonishingly, or even alarmingly, three percent confessed to saying “I love you” on the very first date and 13 percent to taking the plunge in the first week.

However, once the relationship becomes more stable, couples are much happier declaring their love to each other. About four in 10 couples say “I love you” several times a day when in a settled relationship. Just over a third (36 percent) do so once a day and 14 percent do it several times a week. – Daily Mail

 

WHY PEOPLE SAY ‘I LOVE YOU’ WHEN THEY DON’T MEAN IT

1. My partner said it and I felt like I had to say it back

2. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

3. I said it to reassure my partner.

4. We were having sex.

5. I felt pressure to say it because we’d been together a long time.

6. I thought it might increase the chance of having sex.

7. It was an accident, I didn’t mean to say it.

8. I wanted to please my family/friends.

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