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QUESTION: After my divorce, a work colleague (who’s also recently separated) suggested we support each other by going to the cinema, galleries or out for a meal and a chat. Over the past six months, I’ve developed strong feelings for him, but have no clue if they’re returned. He sometimes holds my hand, kisses me on the cheek and hugs me, but has never taken things further. How can I move things on?
ANSWER: I suspect the real issue here is not how to move on your friendship, but is it truly wise to do so?
Most newly divorced people are painfully lonely, but you have had a soulmate to steer you through the Slough of Despond. The joy has been that this friendship isn’t burdened with the freight of romantic expectation on either side.
Have you considered what you might risk if you do try to progress this relationship?
Say, for example, you lean in for a kiss and he backs away in a panic. You would feel offended and your friend would believe it’s wisest to create a little distance. Bang! Your support system would be lost in a second.
The question I’d ask is whether you really want to have a rebound fling. You and your colleague are vulnerable to making hasty and unwise decisions in the aftermath of your marital breakdowns.
More than all this, your colleague and confidante has not shown any clear sign that he wants to move things on to an erotic footing.
If there were obvious blazing electricity between you, then you’d feel it every time your palms brushed.
I can’t help feeling that you’re mistaking reassurance for sexual connection.
That’s not to say an erotic buzz can’t grow, but you wouldn’t want to rush things.
And since your chum is also a work colleague, the fallout could be even more serious. - Daily Mail