Durban - The only thing worse than being set up on a date is when you arrive with high expectations and the person sitting across from you is just not the Adonis described to you.
In the past I’ve allowed my family and close friends to hook me up on numerous dates, and the end result was inevitably disastrous.
The first date was with an older guy, who said he enjoyed volunteering at a children’s home. Sounds good, but when we eventually met a few weeks later, it turned out he acted like a child himself.
The second wanted to meet me at a local park. I agreed and, after chatting for a few minutes, he wanted to plant a kiss on me. I slapped him for being too forward – after all, I barely knew him.
The third was a set-up by an elder in my family who thought it was high time I started dating a prospective husband. So, not to be disrespectful, I played along.
He’s from Ixopo. We went out on three dates before he stopped calling, texting or visiting me. I still don’t know why.
Everyone seemed to think I was the problem back then. I am fussy, straightforward and a very modern thinker.
It took little over a year for me to find someone by myself. Someone that I wanted to be with and who wanted to be with me. Without the help of a meddling mother or friends!
While I understand that friends usually have good intentions when setting you up, it almost never works out because it’s always two people who can’t find love and who are being forced to be together.
It may have worked in the 1940s, but it’s definitely not going to work in this day and age.
Love is a beautiful thing and it should happen naturally.
If you love playing Cupid, I’m here to tell you why it’s a bad idea:
* You don’t know your friend/family member as well as you think you do: In your mind, seeing your friend with a particular person may make you happy. But he’s probably not her type and the date will crash and burn.
* You can’t predict attraction: You might find him/her attractive, but that doesn’t mean that your friend’s going to feel the same way. From my own experience, I can safely say that on a date, everyone has preconceptions. And if those aren’t met, the date is not going to be successful.
* It’s harder to deal with a split: Normally when you end things with someone, you can unfollow them on social media and try cut them out of your life. But if the person is friends with your friend, you’re still going to see them. Dating a friend’s friend makes break-ups much harder because you continue to hear about them, and they may pop up in Facebook pictures even if you’re no longer friends.
In other words, he’s always around, which makes it harder for you to move on.
Sunday Tribune