Would you pay thousands for love?

Comment on this story


London - Abra Conway Keene, 27, is attractive, owns her own flat in London, and has a successful career as a fashion buyer.

Her job takes her to glamorous parties and glittering destinations from Mauritius to Milan but, until 18 months ago, she had to do it all alone.

After one failed long-term relationship and numerous unsuccessful dates, she was desperate to find Mr Right.

So desperate, in fact, that she decided to spend all her savings on the search.

‘I was fed up with speaking to random men in bars and trawling dating sites only to find men who were simply interested in sex. I wanted to meet someone special.’

So Abra paid £15,000 to a high-end introduction agency. And, in her case, money did buy love, as just four months after Abra parted with her savings, her matchmaker introduced her to Dan, a management consultant.

A year on, they are planning to move in together and have discussed marriage.

‘Of course, I would much rather be £15,000 better off and have met Dan through work or friends, but life just wasn’t panning out that way,’ says Abra.

‘My two older sisters are married with babies, and my friends are getting engaged - seeing them so happy just reinforced my desire for a husband and children.

‘I wasn’t prepared to leave it to chance. My job meant I simply didn’t have the time to devote to finding a man.

‘People have asked what the rush is, given that I’m only in my 20s, but finding the right man takes time and I didn’t want to suddenly panic in a decade.’

Paying for a professional Cupid may sound like the ultimate indulgence, but Abra is far from alone.

Despite the recession, dating agencies for the well-heeled are booming. Long working hours coupled with anxiety about leaving it too late to settle down are driving legions of singletons to their doors.

Former event manager Daniel Andre, 38, is chief executive of one such agency, Elect Club, in Mayfair, London. He says its membership has doubled this year (the ratio of women to men is 55:45).

‘It used to be seen as taboo to hire help to find love but, now, using a dating ‘headhunter’ is a status symbol. It has the same cachet as a personal trainer,’ he explains.

‘Our members are successful professionals of all ages - we’ve even got a few famous faces. They don’t have time to meet people the usual ways and don’t want the indiscretion of putting a profile on dating sites. That’s where we come in.’

Elect’s fees start at £10,000 (plus VAT) per year, which includes a face-to-face consultation with a trained matchmaker. For an extra £5,000, the company will search for suitors at business and social events.

‘The people we approach cold are often surprised at first, but quickly become curious and excited,’ says Daniel.

Knightsbridge-based Seventy Thirty has similarly high annual fees, from £9,500 for basic matchmaking, to an eye-watering £50,000 for a global search. Despite this, boss Lemarc Thomas says membership has trebled in the past two years.

He believes he gives value for money, guaranteeing at least eight introductions in 12 months, and says nine out of ten people find a relationship within that time - though there is no money-back guarantee if you don’t find ‘the one’. Many women admit they use introduction agencies because they don’t want to ‘marry down’ in terms of background, education or earning potential.

Abra says these were key considerations for her. She grew up in leafy Hertfordshire, the middle child of five girls, and studied biomedical engineering at Manchester University.

‘I’m intelligent and ambitious, but have strong family values and wanted a man who was on the same page,’ says Abra, whose parents, a housewife and a construction company owner, have been married for 40 years. ‘Mom met Dad at school and has never worked, but it’s different for my generation. I wasn’t seeking a millionaire, just a man with similar values.’

She had dates with four members before meeting Dan in June 2011. At his suggestion, their first date was at London Zoo. ‘We talked very easily about everything from our families to our careers and everything in between.’

Now, a year on, Abra says they are both convinced they’ve found the one. ‘Dan and I are certain this relationship is for ever. We’re great friends, we help each other out and we stick together.’

Singer Amy Lewis found Mr Right after signing up to Seventy Thirty two years ago. She had given herself five years to meet a man when she hit 30. ‘I’m good-looking, intelligent and have a great career but the one thing I lack is free time,’ says Amy, 34, the daughter of two financiers, grew up in Somerset.

‘I’ve always wanted marriage and children but I put my career first,’ adds Amy, who has performed in West End shows and lives in a £1.5 million penthouse in West London.

‘As work took off, the chance to meet suitable men dwindled. Friends set me up, but it always seemed to be with lower-earning men - sound technicians and musicians. That was fine until they saw my home and realised how much I earned. They’d feel intimidated and the dynamic of the relationship shifted.’

After eight months, £15,000 and a handful of unsuccessful dates with six pleasant, educated men, she met Oxford graduate Jason, 39, who works in the City. ‘We hit it off immediately. His career consumes his life, but he wanted to meet someone special. We’ve been together just over a year and are so happy.’

But pricey matchmaking services don’t always pay off. Some disgruntled members accuse them of not delivering the goods. However, relationship expert and counsellor Diana Parkinson believes that might be due to unrealistic expectations.

‘Introduction agencies meet a modern need,’ she says. ‘But if you’re going to invest a lot of money, you need to make changes in your life, too. You need to make time to build a relationship.’

Natasha Greenhalgh, 37, admits she had to adjust her expectations when, six months into a year-long, £20,000 membership with an agency, her search had yielded five disappointing dates.

‘I’d invested so much money that I expected each date to be my Mr Darcy and, when he wasn’t, I’d go home deflated,’ says Natasha, a stockbroker from Wilmslow, Cheshire. ‘If my heart didn’t leap instantly when meeting a man, I’d dismiss him. I didn’t consider that it could be worth having a few dates to get to know him.

‘With hindsight, there were men who I may well have been able to build a relationship with had I been more open-minded.’ A heated conversation with the agency’s boss helped convince Natasha it was her, not them, at fault. She admits she ‘let rip’, venting her frustration that for £20,000 she expected the one to fall into her lap.

‘I was convinced the agency weren’t hooking me up with the right guys,’ she adds. ‘The owner gently but firmly pointed out they were matching me with exactly the professional, sporty men I’d specified, but I wasn’t giving any of them a chance.

‘My matchmaker booked me in with one of the psychologists he employs and only then did I step back, lose the desperation and start giving dates a chance, which in turn meant I relaxed and showed a more appealing side of my personality.’

Five months later, having made it to a third date with Tom, 38, a chartered surveyor, she felt the flutter she’d been longing for. Now, 18 months on, they are planning their wedding for next spring.

‘Some may sneer at me for paying to find love,’ she concludes, ‘but why not? I’m not going to apologise for being proactive. Some people spend on handbags or cars, I chose to spend it on my happiness.’

Abra agrees: ‘I am not ashamed that I invested in my love life. It was a massive risk but it has paid off and I’ve already highly recommended this path to love to friends and colleagues.’ - Daily Mail

* Some names have been changed.


sign up
 
 

Comment Guidelines



  1. Please read our comment guidelines.
  2. Login and register, if you haven’ t already.
  3. Write your comment in the block below and click (Post As)
  4. Has a comment offended you? Hover your mouse over the comment and wait until a small triangle appears on the right-hand side. Click triangle () and select "Flag as inappropriate". Our moderators will take action if need be.

     

Eve001
I'm a 63 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 60 and 65.
View Profile
bridget396
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 30.
View Profile
abbygail_016
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 35.
View Profile
Main
I'm a 52 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 70.
View Profile
potentialdifference
I'm a 24 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
honeydrops
I'm a 21 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 23 and 28.
View Profile
riscilla
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
Blaq_chic
I'm a 25 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
BabaORiley
I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 32.
View Profile
Lynelle
I'm a 41 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 45.
View Profile
mazet23
I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 26 and 37.
View Profile
Fragileheart050
I'm a 37 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 37 and 45.
View Profile
Stheh123
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 30.
View Profile
confidence746
I'm a 44 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 55.
View Profile
sugarplumgal
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
View Profile
Taya_38
I'm a 38 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 45.
View Profile
1993
I'm a 20 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 20 and 38.
View Profile
MssLee
I'm a 29 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 40.
View Profile
mtshali074
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 58.
View Profile
vicky4christ
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 45.
View Profile
Nonopie
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 35.
View Profile
Soulmateseeker_931
I'm a 50 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 55.
View Profile
NeLaairR
I'm a 19 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 19 and 23.
View Profile
spoonkie
I'm a 23 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 35.
View Profile
Pennym
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
Waitnomore
I'm a 41 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 50.
View Profile
mako_001
I'm a 34 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 70.
View Profile
N0nat
I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 35.
View Profile
destinyrider
I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 34 and 48.
View Profile
Afrochic_885
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 35.
View Profile
ChB_3110
I'm a 45 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 45.
View Profile
Annie426
I'm a 23 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 22 and 32.
View Profile
Zuluwoman
I'm a 38 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 100.
View Profile
Charmaine001
I'm a 29 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 45.
View Profile
Miss_B_183
I'm a 26 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 40.
View Profile
ONTHA_042
I'm a 31 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
View Profile
letsdothis11
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 29 and 45.
View Profile
hmz
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 40.
View Profile
lavenderyellow
I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 43.
View Profile
Goldengirl665
I'm a 25 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 35.
View Profile
Azanda
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
View Profile
Coret
I'm a 37 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 100.
View Profile
Phumi900
I'm a 29 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 50.
View Profile
Sweetpea1977
I'm a 36 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 34 and 48.
View Profile
Sedy001
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
View Profile
ntando_784
I'm a 33 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 50.
View Profile
kaer
I'm a 21 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 23 and 28.
View Profile
butterfly3R
I'm a 40 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 45.
View Profile
Dea_
I'm a 47 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 52.
View Profile
Immaculate8m
I'm a 26 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 48.
View Profile
lonelylady1966gct
I'm a 47 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 50 and 60.
View Profile
Gellyireneshuro
I'm a 26 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
View Profile
codelyne
I'm a 25 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 35.
View Profile
violet_222
I'm a 45 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 53.
View Profile
tranquility_01
I'm a 29 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 31 and 38.
View Profile
Feist
I'm a 53 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 50 and 59.
View Profile
JhbNewby
I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 37.
View Profile
RambleOn
I'm a 36 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 48.
View Profile
Exoticlove444
I'm a 34 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 50.
View Profile
Doodlebug106
I'm a 23 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 20 and 35.
View Profile
Dawn2544
I'm a 42 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 48.
View Profile
Tro55
I'm a 29 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 50.
View Profile
nelloma
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 36.
View Profile
tmay
I'm a 36 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 37 and 42.
View Profile
mamagti
I'm a 31 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
View Profile
Tinchen
I'm a 31 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 29 and 40.
View Profile
phatmadam
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 34 and 42.
View Profile
Pinksnowie
I'm a 23 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
livinglife22
I'm a 31 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 45.
View Profile
Kelly_166
I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 34.
View Profile
LouBean
I'm a 37 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 33 and 49.
View Profile
javas2298
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
Castorjhb
I'm a 45 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 46.
View Profile
Arcane77
I'm a 46 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 28 and 46.
View Profile
nihurt
I'm a 58 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 60.
View Profile
mgiji
I'm a 42 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 35.
View Profile
Mazing
I'm a 39 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 27 and 45.
View Profile
charged
I'm a 39 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 35.
View Profile
lihle001tt
I'm a 44 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
Chibode
I'm a 37 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 24 and 35.
View Profile
holatumza
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 100.
View Profile
makano
I'm a 33 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 40.
View Profile
Fiba01
I'm a 28 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 45.
View Profile
Washe
I'm a 36 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 33.
View Profile
spurwing921
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
akapolo
I'm a 44 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 35.
View Profile
Gigson
I'm a 39 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 23 and 36.
View Profile
2282B
I'm a 47 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 29 and 37.
View Profile
Procrastination_082
I'm a 42 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 20 and 31.
View Profile
Loxman
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 20 and 60.
View Profile
Mananco10
I'm a 26 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 45.
View Profile
Net01
I'm a 37 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 37.
View Profile
Aquadux
I'm a 59 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 49 and 55.
View Profile
KeepTrying
I'm a 64 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 34 and 55.
View Profile
IceTy
I'm a 41 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 27 and 41.
View Profile
adonikam
I'm a 66 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 50 and 65.
View Profile
cocoti13
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 36 and 65.
View Profile
Es79
I'm a 34 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 30.
View Profile
proguyfound
I'm a 49 year old man looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 57.
View Profile
alex_550
I'm a 35 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 22 and 33.
View Profile
obasol
I'm a 35 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
loverboyyenu
I'm a 40 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 27 and 45.
View Profile
Tanzani
I'm a 30 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 28 and 45.
View Profile
whynt
I'm a 28 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
View Profile
paris1988
I'm a 25 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 29.
View Profile
adiedee
I'm a 49 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 27 and 45.
View Profile
KING1st
I'm a 35 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 28.
View Profile
mxova_0506
I'm a 33 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 20 and 35.
View Profile
Kwenzo
I'm a 41 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 50.
View Profile
Takeme
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 100.
View Profile
Tshepon
I'm a 36 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 32.
View Profile
Mpko
I'm a 47 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 30 and 38.
View Profile
Thabo526
I'm a 32 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 28 and 45.
View Profile

Business Directory