10 secrets women wish you knew

Comment on this story
iol life feb 8 love  ca romance NEW INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPERS If you take time to talk to and bond with your wife, she will feel emotionally closer to you

Do you find women hard to read, especially in bed? If so, here's a list of 10 sex and relationship secrets that women wish men knew about them… and if they did, it could make sex a whole lot better.

1. She wants to be French kissed

Long, deep and sexy French kisses are highly intimate - and highly arousing. If you want to turn a woman on for sex, kiss her deeply and keep returning for more kisses during sex. Sex without kissing is like repairing a bicycle - her wheels might turn but they won't be well oiled.

2. She gets bored easily with routine sex

If you do the same things over and over, she'll eventually lose interest in sex with you even though she loves you. This is because when women are bored, it's harder for them to get aroused, and sex without arousal is uncomfortable at best and painful at worst. If you make an effort to keep sex fresh and exciting, you'll arouse her and she'll keep wanting you.

3 Emotional closeness = sexual intimacy

That saying, “If you want a happy home, keep your wife happy” is true in the bedroom too. If you take time to talk to and bond with your wife, she will feel emotionally closer to you. For women, emotional closeness leads to wanting sexual intimacy. The key is warm, genuine conversation in which you trust and open up to each other.

4. She wants to have orgasms

Women don't have to have one every time they have sex, but most would like one more often than not. What many men don't realise is that only 30% of women reach an orgasm through penetration. It's friction on the clitoris with a tongue, fingers, vibrator or all three, usually for 10-20 minutes, that takes her to nirvana.

5. Anger and resentment kill her libido

If you want a good sex life, sort out any issues between you before you retire to bed - and work on them until resolved and she's happy again. If you leave problems unresolved because your ego demands that you 'win' the point and she 'loses', she'll be as receptive in bed as a spitting cobra.

6. She worries her genitals are off-putting

Many women worry about their man putting his face close to their genitals - especially for oral sex. She'd love you to pleasure her with your tongue but she's as nervous as hell you'll dislike her smell and taste. Wax lyrical about how much you love her intimate parts and you'll will boost her sexual self-esteem no end. And score big brownie points.

7. She wants her imperfections accepted

If she has cellulite and wobbly bits, point out your boep and skinny legs and laugh together at your imperfections. Tell her which parts of her naked body you adore, and why. The more accepted and desirable she feels, the more likely she is to lose her inhibitions in bed and seek to please you.

8. She needs to feel valued

Women tend to be the givers in a relationship. In return, they need to know they are valued and appreciated. The saying goes that women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex. If you show her you love, appreciate and value her, she's likely to keep wanting sexual intimacy with you.

9. She needs a light touch

Women like to be touched more gently than most men actually touch them. This is because a woman's skin is thinner and more sensitive than a man's. Women's skin is more sensitive to pain because it contains about twice the amount of nerve fibres that men's skin has. So when you touch her, try using half as much pressure as you think you should.

10. She loves more than one orgasm

Usually, the more orgasms a woman has in one sex session, the greater their intensity. The first orgasm may register two or three on the Richter scale but by the time she hits orgasm number three and four, the contractions feel closer to nine. And ejaculation, an intensely pleasurable sensation, is more likely to occur. Give her a few minutes' break after orgasm number one and then stimulate her afresh.

To view our favourite sex positions, sex tips and adult toys, see OhZone.


sign up
 
 

Comment Guidelines



  1. Please read our comment guidelines.
  2. Login and register, if you haven’ t already.
  3. Write your comment in the block below and click (Post As)
  4. Has a comment offended you? Hover your mouse over the comment and wait until a small triangle appears on the right-hand side. Click triangle () and select "Flag as inappropriate". Our moderators will take action if need be.

     

Raven, wrote

IOL Comments
09:43am on 20 July 2011
IOL Comments

@anonymous 10:01 on 15 July Thank you for sharing!

Report this

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
08:40pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

lol...my woman is not like that....she drinks beer, have a moustache and her genitals are bigger than mine...now that's worrisome !

Report this

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
05:03pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

I read Sex Manners for Men when I was still in standard 6 (grade8)and I still remembr even the most minute of detail. Good book

Report this

IOL Comments

Whatever!, wrote

IOL Comments
03:25pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

My list goes like this, to men:1. Get a life. 2. Get a job. 3. Get a brain. 4. Grow up. 5. Get an HIV test. 6. Get some manners. 7. Try and shower at least one a week. 8. Get a clue. 9. Shut up. 10. PLEASE, go back home to your mother and stop working on our last nerve! And they say WE aren't worth the trouble?!

Report this

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
03:18pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

Jake The Snake,oh my thats why men like you give good guys a bad name,you will never know what it is to love a women or love her with passion,you should make love to a women with feelings not just lust.Maybe then you will know what the feeling is.

Report this

IOL Comments

Speechless, wrote

IOL Comments
02:47pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

And this article is one of the most commented and viewed? shows you that nobody wants to hear about the wars in the middle east but they would rather read artcles relating to sex? sociaity today appauls me....

Report this

IOL Comments

Pangea, wrote

IOL Comments
02:07pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

"Sex Manners for Men" is that book still around? I fished it out of my dad's cupboard about two decades ago and even then it look old.

Report this

IOL Comments

Steve, wrote

IOL Comments
02:01pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

and women wonder why we say they are too much trouble,

Report this

IOL Comments

sipho syphfliss, wrote

IOL Comments
01:48pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

guys and LAdies, there is a great book entitled "Sex manners for Men " by Robert Chartham. twill change your lives, I wish I had read it before I got Married. I have given a copy to each of my Sons.

Report this

IOL Comments

sipho syphfliss, wrote

IOL Comments
01:43pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

great article , right on the button, MEN do not know how to please their Women, lovers, mistresses, etc, Now just need to sort out my ED,

Report this

IOL Comments

Big E, wrote

IOL Comments
01:39pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

if you what to please a men just have beer and be bed ready.

Report this

IOL Comments

Jake The Snake, wrote

IOL Comments
01:09pm on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

Hey guys, do what i do, be single, buy a blow up doll or get a hooker, you will save alot of money and your stress levels will go down. Trust me.

Report this

IOL Comments

Miss A, wrote

IOL Comments
11:54am on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

Ek wil ook weet tips wat ons as vrou moet weet van mans of enige iets oor mans - enige juicy info wat hul net vir nog meer wil laat he

Report this

IOL Comments

TheRealist, wrote

IOL Comments
11:47am on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

@Anonymous 09:47. You are sad !!! read up on self fulfilling prophecies

Report this

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
10:01am on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

OK, I'll bite and start with a couple of points from a man's P.O.V.: * Respect = Love: men often see respect as the same thing as love - no respect, no love. * Men have feelings too: ... and may be as thin-skinned emotionally as women are thin-skinned physically. * Communication, communication, communication: according to popular belief men are more fact-oriented, so the emotionalinterpersonal orientation of women drive us crazy (not in a good way) because we do not instinctively understand them. Let the sexes teach each other about themselves, and learn from each other. Incessant talking on the other hand may start to sound to us like just making sound waves - we don't always see the relevance of it and get extremely bored. * We need to feel valued: While we love our kids etc. jsut as much as you do, there are times we would like to have exclusive "us time". Even if it's just 30 mins.

Report this

IOL Comments

jam, wrote

IOL Comments
09:50am on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

3, 4 ORGASMS THATS CRAZY TALK

Report this

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
09:47am on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

What men really want is to hump you wherever and whenever he feels like it. Men are dogs...will hump your leg if the could. The just want sex all the time they think of sex all the time, their other half of their brain is used to breath with,and as long as it is breathing it wants sex.... I rest my case! But not all men are truly like that and those are far and very few between. Men just have different faces so we can tell them apart.

Report this

IOL Comments

Anona, wrote

IOL Comments
09:28am on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

can we pleeeeze have 10 secrets men wish you kneww... I love pleasing my man...but I wanna give him surprises....that will make him go crazy

Report this

IOL Comments

Ftk's, wrote

IOL Comments
09:16am on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

WAY TOO MUCH BOTHER. IT'S EASIER JUST TO PAY FOR IT!!!

Report this

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
09:08am on 15 July 2011
IOL Comments

Anynymous, you are them man. i want to know how women see us. Are they see us as pigs, dogs or sex addicts who have no problem in Life.

Report this

IOL Comments

Showing items 1 - 20 of 32