10 secrets women wish you knew

Do you find women hard to read, especially in bed? If so, here's a list of 10 sex and relationship secrets that women wish men knew about them… and if they did, it could make sex a whole lot better.

1. She wants to be French kissed

If you take time to talk to and bond with your wife, she will feel emotionally closer to you. Credit: INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPERS

Long, deep and sexy French kisses are highly intimate - and highly arousing. If you want to turn a woman on for sex, kiss her deeply and keep returning for more kisses during sex. Sex without kissing is like repairing a bicycle - her wheels might turn but they won't be well oiled.

2. She gets bored easily with routine sex

If you do the same things over and over, she'll eventually lose interest in sex with you even though she loves you. This is because when women are bored, it's harder for them to get aroused, and sex without arousal is uncomfortable at best and painful at worst. If you make an effort to keep sex fresh and exciting, you'll arouse her and she'll keep wanting you.

3 Emotional closeness = sexual intimacy

That saying, “If you want a happy home, keep your wife happy” is true in the bedroom too. If you take time to talk to and bond with your wife, she will feel emotionally closer to you. For women, emotional closeness leads to wanting sexual intimacy. The key is warm, genuine conversation in which you trust and open up to each other.

4. She wants to have orgasms

Women don't have to have one every time they have sex, but most would like one more often than not. What many men don't realise is that only 30% of women reach an orgasm through penetration. It's friction on the clitoris with a tongue, fingers, vibrator or all three, usually for 10-20 minutes, that takes her to nirvana.

5. Anger and resentment kill her libido

If you want a good sex life, sort out any issues between you before you retire to bed - and work on them until resolved and she's happy again. If you leave problems unresolved because your ego demands that you 'win' the point and she 'loses', she'll be as receptive in bed as a spitting cobra.

6. She worries her genitals are off-putting

Many women worry about their man putting his face close to their genitals - especially for oral sex. She'd love you to pleasure her with your tongue but she's as nervous as hell you'll dislike her smell and taste. Wax lyrical about how much you love her intimate parts and you'll will boost her sexual self-esteem no end. And score big brownie points.

7. She wants her imperfections accepted

If she has cellulite and wobbly bits, point out your boep and skinny legs and laugh together at your imperfections. Tell her which parts of her naked body you adore, and why. The more accepted and desirable she feels, the more likely she is to lose her inhibitions in bed and seek to please you.

8. She needs to feel valued

Women tend to be the givers in a relationship. In return, they need to know they are valued and appreciated. The saying goes that women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex. If you show her you love, appreciate and value her, she's likely to keep wanting sexual intimacy with you.

9. She needs a light touch

Women like to be touched more gently than most men actually touch them. This is because a woman's skin is thinner and more sensitive than a man's. Women's skin is more sensitive to pain because it contains about twice the amount of nerve fibres that men's skin has. So when you touch her, try using half as much pressure as you think you should.

10. She loves more than one orgasm

Usually, the more orgasms a woman has in one sex session, the greater their intensity. The first orgasm may register two or three on the Richter scale but by the time she hits orgasm number three and four, the contractions feel closer to nine. And ejaculation, an intensely pleasurable sensation, is more likely to occur. Give her a few minutes' break after orgasm number one and then stimulate her afresh.