8 sexy tips from the Kama Sutra

iol life april 1 kaka sutra pic resized SUPPLIED Many guys love their prostate (the P-spot, or male equivalent of the G-spot) being massaged

Kama Sutra. Sex positions. Multiple orgasms. 'Is this site really a suitable spot for adult discussions?' Some of you have been asking. It's a good question. In response, I have another:

Why is it that at around 18 years we learn to drive a car sufficiently well to negotiate our streets to get home safe and sound, but when it comes to one of the most critical parts of a relationship - sex - we're expected to jump in feet first and know how things work without any form of instruction? Where are the theoretical and practical sex instruction classes, the exams to revise for, the awarded “ready-for-sex” licences and the chorus of congratulations when you exit this instructional rite of passage with flying colours?

In sex, we are largely still expected to operate in the dark. Even with the lights on. It's been 17 years since democracy was ushered in with huge fanfare. Yet the contemptuous scorn heaped on school-based sex education before that watershed moment remains intact. Our children are still scornful. Somewhat ironically, they have access to locally-shot graphic content sent to their cellphones, probably made by their peers at school. They may have unfettered access to pornography on the Internet. Some fathers even encourage their sons to watch porn with them as a misguided introduction to women and sex.

But educate our children about how men's and women's bodies respond to sexual stimuli? Collective South African gasp. (Solo RW yawn.) The more I write about how to improve our sexual awareness, and the more people who email me with their heart-rending problems and their heartfelt thanks for opening their eyes, the more I realise how desperate many South Africans are for straightforward, tell-it-like-it-is sex articles.

So I admit I'm on something of a personal crusade. Especially because a heck of a lot of guys have no clue that the clitoris exists, let alone that it is the key to women's orgasms. And on that good note, here are some of my favourite Kama Sutra sex tricks to add enormous pleasure to our sex lives. (With humble apologies in advance to all who will object.)

Kama Sutra tricks to pleasure a woman

Want her to orgasm from penetration?

Only around 30 percent of women can orgasm during penetrative intercourse because most women need direct stimulation of the clitoris to climax - which intercourse tends to leave out of the equation. But the CAT (Coital Alignment Technique) position is great because it provides the woman with a high amount of stimulation and delays the man's climax. Women are three times more likely to orgasm from this position. Both partners may climax together due to the use of pressure and rocking motions rather than thrusting.

How to do this The man lies on top, aligns his pelvis with hers and enters her. She wraps her legs around his thighs and her ankles rest on his calves. They move only their pelvises simultaneously and at the same speed, in a rocking motion. It rubs all the right places for women and ensures that he continues for longer than normal, which is precisely what most women need to enjoy penetration as much as men do.

Triads of desire

Our main erogenous zones are linked. If you suck on a woman's nipples, for instance, she'll feel the sensation in her clitoris. Yet if you stimulate three erogenous zones simultaneously, this forms a more potent triad of desire that is greater than the sum of its points.

How to do this: try stimulating three erotic points on her body in combination, such as both nipples and the clitoris, or kiss her deeply on the lips and tweak both nipples. (The same applies to men - stimulating their nipples and penis together can be hugely exciting, for instance.) Use light and firm touches, plus different sensations such as vibration and clamping, or hot and cold temperatures. By linking three points and varying the stimulation, you'll take her to new heights of arousal.

Rub her belly for an explosive orgasm

It sounds crazy but this really works, because the area just above a woman's pubic bone is highly sensitive. Women feel lust in the pit of their stomachs and this move exploits that spot to maximum effect. When she's about to orgasm, rub the area of her abdomen just above her pubic bone and her orgasm will be heightened to an explosive experience.

How to do this Put both hands flat on her lower abdomen above her pubic bone. Then move your hands in opposite directions, back and forth across her abdomen. Watch her astonishment at the intensity of her climax.

A sex position to stimulate her G-spot and clit

The G-force is a superb Kama Sutra sex position for women because the position stimulates her G-spot and his well-placed hand provides added clitoral stimulation - a huge bonus for her. It also gives the guy an erotically-charged view of her on top.

How to do this The guy lies on his back while his lover faces him and kneels or squats over him. She then leans back and supports her weight on her hands, at an angle intended to hit her G-spot. He places a fist next to his penis (on the belly button side), the aim being that she grinds her clitoris against it as she moves up and down. A variation is that if he bends his knees, she can lean on them. The pace and depth is controlled by the woman who receives maximum stimulation of her G-spot and clitoris - and what could be better than that?

Kama Sutra tricks to pleasure a man

'Milk' him while he's inside you

Clench your PC muscle in a rolling motion around his penis during penetrative intercourse for a 'milking' effect - a technique that will drive him wild. This is an ancient art and a huge man pleaser. You'll need to do 25-30 Kegel exercises daily to strengthen your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle sufficiently to do this trick as you'll need a boa constrictor's gripping power!

How to do this Practice squeezing your PC muscle until you can isolate the inner, middle and outer bands of this muscle. Squeeze them one by one in sequence, starting with the outer band closest to the vaginal entrance and moving upwards in the vagina. Pop him inside you and do this in an ongoing rolling motion until it has the desired effect on him - it will rate as one of his most unforgettable sexual experiences.

Give him a multiple orgasm

When a guy's building up to an orgasm, there's a point of no return called ejaculatory inevitability - but not if you use this sneaky Kama Sutra trick. Most men are unaware that they can have multiple orgasms because after ejaculating they experience a refractory period (ranging from a few minutes to a few days) in which they are unable to achieve another erection.

How to do this: when he's close to an orgasm, take your middle finger and push down firmly on his perineum (the ridge between his testicles and anus) and hold it there. This cuts off the flow of semen but doesn't stop his climax. It will probably be a bit of a shock for him to orgasm without ejaculating semen, but when he realises that he is able to go again immediately afterwards, he's likely to become a multi-orgasmic convert.

A highly arousing sex position

The Pressed Position is visually exciting for a guy because it gives him a highly erotic view of his lover and of himself in action. It allows him to become highly aroused from his own sense of strength in response to her vulnerability. It also provides for good depth of penetration and thrusting, which he controls.

How to do this:the woman lies on her back and bends her knees, pulling them up towards her chest. The guy kneels in front of her with his legs wide apart on either side of her. She puts her feet on his chest with her legs together and holds onto his thighs. Her position is very submissive and allows him to take full control, but must be careful not to thrust too hard as her position shortens her vagina.

Massage his prostate for a P-spot orgasm

Many guys love their prostate (the P-spot, or male equivalent of the G-spot) being massaged, either internally via the anus or externally by stroking the perineum. This can produce a particularly deep, whole-body orgasm.

How to do this: while you're pleasuring him with your mouth or hand, when he's highly aroused pop some saliva or lubricant on your finger and rub the rim of his anus as well. It's rich in nerve endings, so he should find this highly pleasurable. Gently slip your finger inside a little way (no nails, please - and ask first in case he's got a phobia about this). Wait for his sphincter muscles to relax, then insert it a little further. Curve your finger towards his belly button and a few inches in, massage his prostate through the front wall of his rectum. The prostate produces ejaculatory fluid and feels like a firm bulge about the size of a walnut. If you're a bit squeamish, a curved vibrator may be easier to use, while the vibration adds another dimension of pleasure for him.

A final word The clit is queen!

Find out how to do Kegel exercises to 'milk' your man, and view the vibrating nipple clamps and curved vibrators for G-spot and P-spot stimulation at OhZone. - IOL

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Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
08:39am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

(the ridge between his testicles and balls) !!!! well we learn every day, I thought they were the same thing....

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
08:35am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

"perineum (the ridge between his testicles and balls)" I'm pretty sure that testicles and balls are the same thing ;)

IOL Comments

Anonymous, wrote

IOL Comments
08:20am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

@timeandplaceforeverything It's called april fools...

IOL Comments

notaprude, wrote

IOL Comments
08:12am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

Is this an April Fools joke putting this as front page news???? Well said timeandplaceforeverything. I second what you say.

IOL Comments

Darryl, wrote

IOL Comments
08:05am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

Get a life timeandplaceforeverything, we're all adults here. Very informative read, i know what im doing tonight.

IOL Comments

timeandplaceforeverything, wrote

IOL Comments
07:52am on 1 April 2011
IOL Comments

Really? This shouldn't be on the front page of IOL for 2 reasons - firstly, this is not news; and secondly, this is inappropriate content for a publication. Sad to see IOL plumb the depths of tabloid nonsense approaching the level of Die Son et al.

IOL Comments

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