9 steps to hitting the spot

An intense and tremendous release.

An intense and tremendous release.

Published Jun 24, 2011

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It's not uncommon for women to release a bit of clear fluid just before or during an orgasm - especially if their G-spot is being stimulated. Usually, they feel embarrassed as they mistakenly assume it's urine.

This self-consciousness is not surprising because the watery fluid smells a bit like urine, but it's not. If women can let go instead of holding back, they stand to experience an earth-shattering, whole-body orgasm with ejaculation - and I'll describe a step-by-step process for how to attempt this.

What is ejaculate?

The release of a sweet-tasting, clear or slightly milky fluid just prior to or during an orgasm is known as female ejaculation. There is a school of thought that all women produce ejaculate but most just aren't aware of it as it gets flushed away when they urinate after sex. If only a little bit trickles out after an orgasm, it could easily be confused with vaginal lubrication. And if it gushes out, this may wrongly be considered the result of a full bladder.

What causes it?

What happens is that when a woman's G-spot is stimulated during sex, she will typically experience a feeling that she needs to pee. Most women hold back, hoping not to embarrass themselves - whereas if they do the opposite and bear down as if giving birth, they're likely to experience a G-spot orgasm. And often, this also includes ejaculating fluid.

The G-spot is the urethral sponge, a cushion of spongy tissue wrapped like insulation around the urethra, the tube through which urine passes. This tissue is rich in blood vessels and has glands that produce fluids. When the G-spot receives ongoing stimulation, these glands fill with fluid. This is released through the urethra when the glands overflow, or when the pelvic muscles contract in an orgasm.

How do women ejaculate?

How ejaculation occurs varies from woman to woman. For some, the fluid is released just prior to a G-spot orgasm and for others, during a G-spot orgasm. Some women appear to ejaculate from stimulation of the clitoris. Generally, though, massaging of the G-spot is the most common trigger.

The sensation of ejaculating is described by women as an intense and tremendous release. This is hardly surprising seeing as it's connected to an orgasm. The reason that G-spot orgasms are so sought after is that women describe them as deeper, whole body orgasms in contrast to more localised clitoral orgasms. A different nerve pathway is thought to be involved in G-spot orgasms, which is why women say it feels more intense and appears to involve more areas of the body.

How women can learn to ejaculate

Women can learn to ejaculate using the following technique:

1. Empty your bladder first. This is so you know that when you get the feeling you need to pee, it's not because your bladder is full.

2. Drink some water beforehand. You're more likely to ejaculate if you're not dehydrated.

3. If you're concerned about leaving a wet patch, put down something absorbent like a towel.

4.Stimulate yourself until you are highly aroused. The more aroused you are, the more you're likely to ejaculate.

5.During stimulation, make sure you don't obstruct the urethral opening with a sex toy, fingers and so on, as the ejaculate will flow out there and not from your vagina.

6.Having an orgasm relaxes your pelvic muscles, so it often helps to have one before trying to ejaculate, then aiming for a second climax.

7.Use a crooked finger or a G-spot vibrator to stimulate your G-spot. This is found on the front wall of the vagina (belly button side) about two inches in, just beyond the curve of the pubic bone. The more aroused you are, the more likely you are to feel a raised, rough area or ridge that feels different to the rest of the front vaginal wall. Massage it firmly through the wall, moving up and down or in circles, and keep going.

8.If you feel a need to urinate, don't stop massaging. Bear down hard with your pelvic muscle as if you are trying to push something out of your vagina.

9.You may feel fluid coming out just before you orgasm, or during the contractions. It may seep or gush.

It can take a while to learn to ejaculate, and it might be easier to attempt it alone when there's no sense of pressure. Yet you may find it easier if a partner helps, using either a G-spot friendly sex position (with lots of simultaneous clitoral stimulation) or a curved G-spot sex toy. Just as it is for guys, ejaculation is an exquisite sensation and it's well worth the effort.

[Sources: Go Ask Alice!, Supersex, The Big Bang: Nerve's Guide to the New Sexual Universe, The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, The Sex Inspectors Masterclass]

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