Life isn’t all about sex

FILE - In this undated file publicity image released by PBS, Benedict Cumberbatch portrays Sherlock Holmes in "Sherlock." Cumberbatch was nominated for an Emmy Award for best actor in a miniseries or movie for "Sherlock: His Last Vow," on Thursday, July 10, 2014. The 66th Primetime Emmy Awards will be presented Aug. 25 at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/PBS, File) ** Usable by LA, DC, CGC and CCT Only **

FILE - In this undated file publicity image released by PBS, Benedict Cumberbatch portrays Sherlock Holmes in "Sherlock." Cumberbatch was nominated for an Emmy Award for best actor in a miniseries or movie for "Sherlock: His Last Vow," on Thursday, July 10, 2014. The 66th Primetime Emmy Awards will be presented Aug. 25 at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/PBS, File) ** Usable by LA, DC, CGC and CCT Only **

Published Jul 29, 2015

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London - Though asexuality isn’t something that is often discussed in the media, it is used in entertainment.

Think Sherlock Holmes eschewing of all things sexual and thus adding to the dramatic portrayal of the character’s single-minded pursuit of intellectual truth, or think Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory, brushing up against a sexualised world and thus ramping up the comedic tension in the sitcom.

In the modern, real-world incarnation of the no/low sex spectrum, we find asexual people, a group increasingly interested in “coming out” and staking their claim on the social landscape. A defining feature of asexuality is little or no sexual attraction to other people – in short, no lustful lure for others.

Not surprisingly, many asexual people also exhibit very little sex drive or sexual interest (including no masturbation), although some may still have some “solitary” desire. Thus some asexual people may still evince some sexual drive, but it is not connected to others.

Recent research has suggested that perhaps as much as one percent of the population – with more women than men – are asexual. Research also suggests that the origins of asexuality, like traditional sexual orientations, are at least partly rooted in early development.

Researchers have also begun to examine a variety of issues related to asexuality, including how some asexual people are content to “fly under the radar,” socially speaking, while others may form a strong asexual identity and “come out” to others, and how asexual people may be the subject of prejudice and discrimination. In the latter case, recent research suggests that the sexual majority may view asexual people more negatively than other sexual minorities.

Asexual people, particularly if they are comfortable with themselves, have also recently challenged health professionals, including writers of the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (or DSM), as to what it means to have a sexual disorder.

For example, there is now a provision in the recent DSM that allows self-identified asexual people to avoid being diagnosed with having a sexual disorder.

As I suggest in my book, Understanding Asexuality, there are many reasons why those interested in sex – including sex researchers educators – should try to understand asexual people and their view of the world.

First, studying asexual people provides information on a relatively unstudied group, and knowledge of this minority may help asexual people understand themselves better and ease their negotiation through a complex and foreign sexual world.

Studying asexuality also provides a unique window on sexuality and its mysteries, including its complex relationship to love and romance. For example, although some asexual people do not want romantic relationships – one person on Aven, the most popular online forum for asexual people, writes: “Never had a relationship, never want one” – many asexual people desire romantic relationships, even if they eschew sexual ones. Another Aven participant writes: “I am now in a relationship with a heterosexual person, I don’t know how it will work out, but I am trying to be positive about it and keep the focus on what we have in common rather than what we don’t have in common…”

Given that asexual people often want a romantic relationship (despite its challenges), they provide a model of how romantic love can be decoupled from sex, and such a model also holds for sexual people. Indeed, the popularity of movies in the bromance genre – eg two (burly) straight men forming a deep bond – demonstrates the usefulness of the romance versus sex model of human attachment.

Examining asexuality can also afford a clear view on how deeply infused sex is in our society – from the pervasiveness of sex in the media to our enduring interest in gossip on the sex lives of others. We also may begin to see more clearly the strange and often mad complexity of sex, with its jealousies, obsessions, and distortions of reality.

Sex is unquestionably part of the great story of human life – our means of reproduction and a deep source of passion and pleasure for many – but it is also a strange and mad world at times, and one that is better understood if we take a glimpse or two from the outside.

The Independent

* Anthony Bogaert is a professor at the Department of Health Sciences, and Department of Psychology, at Brock University, Canada. His latest book is Understanding Asexuality

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