Johannesburg - There I was, sitting in front of a naked man, and he was not even my husband.
He wore a pink cowboy hat with a matching bow tie and boots. All the innocence I had associated with that colour took on a different meaning as the naked man brandished his penis in front of me.
Black girls don’t blush. But I unabashedly blushed as he moved his gaze from me to his workstation.
“Smile,” he said encouragingly, almost oblivious to the crowd around us.
Some bystanders gasped and others were perturbed. It is not every day you see a man painting with his penis.
Pricasso, as he is known, lives in Australia and travels the world showcasing his unique talent. He is one of the main attractions at the Nasrec Sexpo 2012, which closes on Sunday.
He uses his penis, scrotum and buttocks to create his masterpieces.
I sat squirming, perspiring and trying to distract myself by listening to Lady Gaga’s Born This Way blaring from the hall’s speakers.
Pricasso can paint with either hand, but prefers using his nether regions. He has been painting this way for seven years and has painted ordinary people, celebrities and politicians.
“Give me that big smile,” Pricasso teases with a glint in his eyes.
At this point, my cheeks were burning.
What had sounded like a great idea in the newsroom ended up being the longest and most embarrassing moment of my life.
Cameras clicked away and Pricasso kept rubbing his bum with colours of purple, pink and orange against my likeness.
“Whatever you do, don’t look,” I said to myself, trying to avoid eye contact with his genitals.
But for reporting purposes, I had to know if it was disfigured, or of “boastful size”? And by what standard did I have to measure it against? Mills and Boon – that was my answer. These romantic novels have perfected the art of describing the male species and his tool, from “rock-solid manhood” to “a hard, steeled length”.
All I could say for Pricasso’s brush was it was, umm, well endowed.
Married couple Michael and Mary Lloyd watched the artist. The two have three children, three grandchildren and have been married for more than 30 years. They were so impressed, they ended up buying a vibrator and pink balls that enhance orgasms.
Sexpo 2012 is dripping with sensuality. A few of the acts include award-winning porn star Jesse Jane, pole dancers and the Pussy Room.
Exhibitors include Adultworld, Durex, Lolly Lounge and Lola Montez. - The Star