Sex detective Nima Badley says that most books on sexual advice seem to be written by women for women.
"But in these books there's one voice that's missing - a man's!"
"That's why, with my wife Cynthia, I spent a year interviewing men to discover their desires, fears and turn ons. The results were unexpected. Even I was shocked by how explicit they got. But what surprised me was how willing men were to articulate their desires."
Too shy to ask your man what turns him on? Here's what Cynthia and Nima's research revealed...
By Nima Badley and Cynthia Gentry
1 Multiple orgasms and oral satisfaction
Of the men we spoke to, 40 percent say they've had multiple orgasms. These are genital contractions between three and five seconds long, and men can experience several before having a full orgasm.
And when you're having oral sex, enthusiasm is better than technique. "The most amazing oral sex I've had? It was a standard blowjob but she loved doing it and it showed," says one 31 year old.
If he had to choose between a woman who had porn-star technique but looked bored, and a woman who wasn't as proficient but was having fun, he'd go for Ms Enthusiastic. Enjoying a man's penis shows you're enjoying him, and that's the biggest ego boost ever.
2 Men worry about the way they look in bed
It's not only women who feel better with the lights off. Almost 75 percent of the men we spoke to admitted to body insecurities. They're pressurised by celebrity images and are convinced that you expect them to have a perfect body. They worry about their chests, beer bellies, skinny legs and, of course, whether their penis is big enough. If he's looking a bit nervous, avert your gaze! He'll be grateful.
3 He will always choose you over his fantasy woman
Men fantasise. They watch porn and they like looking at women. It's not because they're in love with those women - it's because the naked female body is a huge turn on for a man.
But any fantasy is a poor substitute for the physical presence of the woman they love. "My fantasising doesn't mean my girlfriend doesn't turn me on," says Jack, 28.
"I use it to occupy my mind until I can be with her."
4 Let him go south!
A massive 81 percent of men say they love giving you oral sex. It's something men genuinely enjoy doing. They love doing it at the beginning of a relationship because it feels a bit taboo, and are equally as keen on it as a relationship deepens, because it's so intimate. Only one percent of the men we talked to said they didn't enjoy cunnilingus at all.
5 He loves your butt, no matter what its size
Twice as many men said they preferred a woman's butt over her breasts. And not a pert size 10, either: they love all bottoms - large, small, wobbly, even those with cellulite. They love the curves, the way the eye is drawn to it up the legs, and its softness. So whether it's tight jeans, shorts or a slinky dress, emphasise yours.
6 He loves watching you masturbate...
A massive 82 percent of men said they get hot if you touch yourself in front of them.
"Seeing and hearing her get aroused - I love it," says Pete, 30. For men, it's like having a personal porn show. She looks amazing, she's enjoying it, and there's no pressure on you to do anything. Plus, men are keen to know what turns women on, and watching your partner masturbate lets you in on what works for her.
7 But he's shy about you watching him
While men love watching you masturbate, it's not the same the other way round. More than 33 percent of men said it does nothing for them, while 20 percent said it makes them feel too self-conscious. Much of men's sexuality is tied up with ego, so performing for another person is hard. If you really want to watch but he doesn't seem keen, offer to join in after a couple of minutes.
8 He'd rather hear you moan...
When you moan because you can't stop yourself, we know we're performing. Non-verbal instruction can be good, too: 98 percent of men said that they want to know if their technique needs work, because they want to make you happy. What they hate is being shouted at: 'To the right, now! Keep it up, two, three, and four!' If you're being dictated to it feels like you're doing something wrong.
9 But anything is better than silence
"My biggest turn off?" noted one 28 year old. "Silence, and her just lying there." Men wonder, 'What's going on in her head?' and that prevents them from enjoying all the sensations. And when it's quiet it feels like being in a library, which isn't the vibe you want in the heat of passion.
10 Men fake it, too!
Believe it or not, more than 50 percent of men have faked an orgasm - and this is how they did it: if he's wearing a condom all he has to do is make a noise, withdraw, quickly pull off the condom and get rid of it. Most women will be none the wiser.
If a man's had too much to drink, or feels tired or stressed, sometimes he's just unable to come. Men fake it for exactly the same reasons that women do. They don't want to feel as though they've let you down.
11 His all-time favourite position is...
Doggy style and woman-on-top were favourites with the men. And it's got a lot to do with the view. "I love watching her position herself exactly how she likes it and getting herself off," says Adam, 24. These positions are also a lot more comfortable for men. In the missionary position a man has to control his weight. But with doggy style he's able to shift his weight around without disturbing the rhythm. And when you're on top he's relaxed and happy.
12 Men like to snuggle up after sex...
Only five percent of men want to be left alone once they've climaxed. A massive 56 percent of both single and men in relationships want a post-coital cuddle. "I absolutely want to snuggle up after sex," says Jonathan, 25. Like most women, men like to linger in the sensuality. But cuddling doesn't mean talking. After sex, few men want to chat. We're so physically spent that we're just incapable of it!
13 But it's a compliment if they fall asleep
If he's just had an amazing orgasm with a woman, here's how a man is going to be feeling immediately after sex: "I just want to pass out in a state of bliss," admits Steve, 27. "We want to relax and cuddle, but we're light-headed and tired, so it's not a bad sign if we feel sleepy." If he does end up rolling over and falling asleep on you, try not to be too annoyed about it. All it means is that he's had an amazing time.