London - In your 20s everything seems so serious.
There’s the rush to settle down, the rush to get married before all the “good ones” are taken, the rush to have kids, the hustle for the perfect salary and the perfect tan. Let it all go - take the time to just be a kid. Here’s some tips:
1. Learn to like yourself the way you are. This doesn’t mean you can’t work on the things about you that you want to change, it just means you aren’t changing yourself out of self-hatred. Take care of yourself because you love yourself. It is the kindest thing to do for your heart and your head.
2. Come to know who you are independently of other people’s perceptions. People will tell you you are not skinny enough, or that your teeth aren’t white enough, or that you don’t make enough money, or that you belong in some prestigious career. Sometimes, these people are trying to sell you something, sometimes they’re your family.
Figure out who you are for yourself. The path you should follow will instantly become more clear.
3. Stop expecting opportunity to land at your front door. Lord knows it may happen, but often the perfect boyfriend or job opportunity won’t show up on your doorstep as though you ordered it from Pizza Hut. You can’t just sit at home and wonder why you haven’t found the perfect gig for your band or why you’re not dating a rockstar girlfriend. If you’re not hustling, then you’re not close enough to reaching your goal. Period.
4. Realise that another person’s education, background, colour, etc. doesn’t define them. It shouldn’t even have to be said. By your 30s, you’d better come to realise that the world is diverse and that people are much more than any single trait that you attribute to them.
Unless you plan on spending your life in a bubble with a completely homogeneous group of people who all look alike, think alike and share the same experiences, you need to know how to function in a world that is inundated with people who are culturally different from you.
5. Live somewhere completely different from where you grew up. At least for a little while, get away from the comfort of the familiar and your family and friends.
6. Take the time to act like a child. Remember stretching out your arms wide and spinning in circles until you were dizzy, just for the hell of it? Or rolling down soft hills of green grass? Or eating a dripping ice-cream cone on a hot day? Or catching crickets with your bare hands? Don’t lose that feeling.
The Independent