A transgender man is four months pregnant after meeting a sperm donor on Facebook.
Hayden Cross, 20, who was born a girl, is legally male and began hormone treatment to complete the transition three years ago.
But he has now delayed it to have a child after claiming that doctors refused to allow him to freeze his eggs. Mr Cross, who is unemployed and lives on benefits, said: ‘I want the baby to have the best. I’ll be the greatest dad. I faced the prospect of not becoming the man I am supposed to be, physically, or a dad. So I didn’t feel like I had any choice but to have a baby now then get back to transitioning.’
The former Asda worker, who lives in Gloucester, is the first British man to reveal publicly that he is pregnant and will bring up the child as a single father. He plans to raise it in a ‘trans’ environment, he said, adding: ‘Trans is a common thing now for our generation.’
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But his decision has divided his family. His uncle Sean Hodson said: ‘I fear this child is going to grow up confused.’
Referring to Mr Cross by both his birth name Paige and his new name, Mr Hodson, 41, from Gloucester, added: ‘It is confusing for me. Hayden had a difficult upbringing and perhaps if her childhood had been more stable she wouldn’t be in this situation now.
‘Paige is a good person at heart, I think, but she is somewhat misguided to do what she has done.’
Jeanette Cross, Mr Cross’s great aunt, said the family ‘fully supported’ the pregnancy. ‘That child will be loved. Gay people have babies in this day and age, why is this any different?’ she said at her home in Brockworth, Gloucestershire. ‘Hayden is a kind, gentle person who told us all about his plans. I know he will be a good parent.’
Mr Cross disclosed how he was living as a man but was desperate to have a baby, which he would be unable to do once the sex change was complete. So he stopped his hormone treatment and put his gender transition on hold so that he could fall pregnant.
He had wanted to freeze his eggs on the NHS so that he could have a baby in a few years. But when an NHS panel refused to authorise the process – and unable to afford to do it himself privately – he decided to have a child straight away rather than delay his gender change any further. He found a sperm donor on Facebook and became pregnant in September.
Mr Cross, who says he does not know the name of the donor, plans to return to the transition process immediately after the birth although that will mean having his breasts and ovaries removed. This means he will not be able to breastfeed the child, which he plans to send to private school.
‘I found the donor on the internet,’ he said. ‘I didn’t have to pay. The man came to my house, he passed me the sperm in a pot and I did it via a syringe. I felt I’d no choice. I don’t know who the donor was. To be honest I can’t remember anything about him. He wouldn’t even tell me his name. He said he was just doing it to help people.’
Despite his joy at his pregnancy, Mr Cross said he felt uncomfortable doing such a feminine thing and watching his body changing.
‘I was happy but I also knew it would be backtracking on my transition,’ he said. ‘It is a very female thing to carry a baby and it goes against everything I feel in my body.
‘I was finally starting to become myself and become a man physically but now my body is going in the opposite direction. It makes me angry that I’ve been put through this. Carrying a baby is meant to be a happy time but in my body it feels wrong.’
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He said that he felt pressurised to have the baby now as a single father, because he had the transition process ahead of him.
‘If they the NHS hadn’t refused, I wouldn’t have had kids until I was at least 25. I could have been in a steady relationship by then and been able to offer a child two parents to raise it,’ he said. ‘Now I will be a single dad who is trans.’