Johannesburg - A list of South Africa’s annoying people obviously lanced the boil on the nation’s psyche.
Hundreds of readers went online or sent in e-mails to comment on the list, published in the Star and on IOL.
The entry that seem to have resonated with most people was the “Dead Sea Cosmetic Sellers”, suggesting that most of you have been harassed by these hardcore sales people. A couple of people wondered why shopping mall managements allowed them inside their centres.
We also asked you to nominate other “Annoying People” and have collated the following from your suggestions:
Hyper car guards
You come out of the shopping centre and the car guard is instantly there, following you like a jumpy shadow and calling and whistling to you to remind you of his presence. When you’re in your car, he’s wildly gesturing as you reverse. Dude, I have a driving licence, and I get out of my driveway every day – in reverse!
Some car guards expect tips when you’ve just stopped for a few seconds to drop off your DVD or pick up your takeway.
Then there’s the car guard who is nowhere to be seen when you park or unload your bags of groceries, but suddenly materialises when you’re driving away, wanting a tip for doing precisely nothing.
Indicator idiots
These are people who think because their indicator light flicked once they can immediately change lanes, with nary a glance in the rearview mirror. They then blithely drive ahead as you struggle to get your heart rate back to normal.
Of course, some lane changers don’t bother to indicate at all, with taxi drivers taking top honours here. But there are also those drivers who have bought luxury vehicles that come equipped with every feature, including an iPod dock, but inexplicably come without indicator lights.
Escalator sleepers
An escalator is a marvellous invention, but some people apparently fall into a sleep-like state in the short time it takes to get to the end of it. So when they dreamily shuffle off the last step, they stop dead in a daze while those behind them crash into their backs like a concertina. Then there are whole families who step off the escalator and stop dead while they discuss what movie they’re going to see or where they going to meet for lunch.
Clueless queuers
The menu is big, bright and bold, yet some fast foodies apparently can’t see it, because only once they’ve reached the counter does it occur to them to decide on what they want.
In the same vein are plane passengers who start rummaging around for their passport and ticket only when they’ve reached check-in. I mean, what did you think was going to happen when it was your turn?
Then there are those who stand so close to you in shop queues that you can feel their boeps or boobs against you when they exhale, or who stab your Achilles tendons with their trollies. Give me some space, please. You’re not going to get to the cashier any faster.
Toothpick devotees
Not only is the toothpick hanging loose from this individual’s mouth, they’re actually chatting away with it bobbing up and down, before re-engaging it for further face-twisting probing. If you’re a witness to this failure of etiquette, best you stop imagining what’s going on in there.
Jaw gymmers
They’re forever chewing something. They chew during meetings, in conversation, while driving, while shopping and, in Graeme Smith’s case, while playing cricket. You can even hear their jaws clicking away while they’re on the phone to you. Prize gum chewers can even strike a grin with a wad of it gooed up between their teeth. Sexy, not!
Music Nazis
People who share their “doef doef” music with the rest of the world at full blast from their supersized car amp (possibly suggesting an undersized you-know-what). In a parking garage, these rapper rogues pump it up to the level of pain. Makes you wish the Almighty would blast them tenfold with a Wagnerian opera, on full volume and in its notorious entirety.
Human loudhailers
People who are inches from one another yet talk so loudly that the whole street can hear them. Occasionally they let out a yell or shriek, jangling your nerves and notching up your stress levels.
Worse, some human loudhailers are nurses, talking at the top of their voices in wards full of sick people. And if you ask them to zip it, they’ll glare at you and mutter something about “my culture”.
ALL telemarketers
They have a knack of calling you at the most inopportune moments to sell you a product you don’t want or need. For instance, the person calling you on your cellphone to sell you a cellphone. When you ask where they got your details, they say from their “database”, as though this justifies the intrusion. Most will not take your word for it that you “NEVER EVER give personal details to strangers over the phone”. If you don’t pick up these calls, they send you an SMS. Ramping it up, telesales pitches nowadays come in voice recordings! Go away already.
Loathsome litterers
They toss banana peels, chip packets, cans and cigarette butts onto the street or pavement, without the slightest consideration of how they’re polluting the environment for everyone else. Makes you want to collect their rubbish and throw it all on their doorstep.
Later waiters
You ordered a glass of water without ice and it comes back with ice and a lemon slice. Your companion ordered a coffee, but now he’s hunting other tables for the sugar. And the cutlery? Well, you’d better track the waiter down before your food gets cold. Supremely annoying!
Movie morons
They sit behind you in the cinema and then rest their feet on your chair next to your ears. Your alter-ego fantasises about amputating them at the knees. Other movie morons chat to their companion for 10 minutes into the movie, take cellphone calls or sit SMSing on a brightly-lit phone screen. Enough said.
Snobby Capetonians
Yes, you do have the mountain, but you didn’t invent it – nor do you have exclusive claim to it. And while the city and surroundings are picturesque, Capetonians themselves have gained a reputation for being as cold as their unswimmable sea. Just saying…
Boorish Vaalies
The bane of fashionable Capetonians, they head down in their “Sandton tractors (SUVs)” in December to clog up the beaches wearing lumo baggies and farmer tans, and their unruly children causing chaos on Checkers-issue boogie boards. Carbon footprint… what’s that?
More irksome people:
* ANN7 presenters
* Horsie women, you know, the Botoxed types who wear their jodhpurs to lunch.
* All Come Dine With Me SA contestants
* Harley bikers who make a racket during their Sunday morning breakfast runs, while you’re trying to catch up on your sleep.
* Drivers who drive snail-like over speed bumps – and in the fast lane of highways.
* All politicians
* Blue-light brigades
* Religious nuts who try to force their belief systems down your throat.
* People who invite you to play Pet Rescue Saga or Candy Crush Saga.
* People who borrow and don’t return your stuff.
* People who send a “please call me”. - The Star