QUESTION: This is a desperate plea for help as I fear my time is running out. I turn 52 this week. When I was 30 I had burn-out from long working hours. I have been on Fluoxetine in various doses, plus other medications on and off.
My medical issues include an underactive thyroid and being overweight. My self-esteem is down in the dumps and I seriously lack confidence. I am also an asthmatic on chronic medication.
My problem is that I don’t keep a job long enough. When I get tired, I start wanting to hide away, I avoid going to social functions, get emotional and oversensitive. I put everything I have in whatever job I do, and even if I get overloaded I just do it even if I have to work longer hours or take work home.
I just went through this problem again. The work load increased, and I took the courage this time to discuss it with my team leader. His response was that I was the only one not coping, so I accepted the problem was with me.
I loved my job. I’d been on contract for three years and had only been permanent for six months, but I had to resign because I could not cope with the work load.
I feel like a failure. My husband can’t rely on me any more. How can I deal with this so I don’t lose my job every time? I am getting older and the jobs are harder to come by even if, as I have always been told, I am a hard worker.
Please, could you give me some advice on this. Do you think going to a support group and listening to others who overcame it could help?
ANSWER: Your question hits at the heart of many people in the workplace. I am constantly amazed by the tenacity of the human spirit. When things get rough and tough we tell ourselves it’s a phase and it will pass. A decade passes and we find ourselves stuck in the same rut.
Persevering in the face of adversity
The human brain is designed primarily to function for survival. Delicately crafted and specialised cells in intricate structures regulate our response to the environment and help us brave challenging or threatening situations.
When placed under stress, whether acute or chronic, the body has a physiological response – releasing hormones like cortisol and adrenalin. This, combined with medical issues like hypothyroidism and diabetes, can cause serious long term effects.
Identifying your problem is essential. The buzz words you mention in your question are: burn-out, overloaded, low self-steem, lack of social interest, over-emotional and oversensitive.
From this I see that you have spent some time reflecting on where you are at in your life, as well as your role in your failures thus far. Self-criticism is good if your motive is to grow and learn better coping skills. The process is constructive if your thoughts are rational during the assessment.
The problem comes when your mood is down, energy is down and medically you feel unwell too. Then you find that you view the world and yourself through dark glasses and cannot see ANY positive factors. Falling into this deep and dark pit can cripple you and cost you many things, including your job, family and marriage, among others. Social isolation is typical of early signs of mood disorders. There seems to be a clear indication that you have difficulty setting boundaries – learning when to say no is an invaluable skill in self preservation.
What to do about it
Your e-mail was titled: “Questions on depression, OCD and post traumatic stress”, and I consider this essential in your path to recovery.
You allude to being thorough and having perfectionist traits – this is of use in many circumstances, but can often lead to dominantly task-orientated leadership styles, with people skills lacking in some instances. If you are considering that you have PTSD you should see a psychologist urgently.
The way forward
* Will involve a multidisciplinary approach and is not an overnight remedy.
* Compliance with medication prescribed.
* Dedicated psychotherapy and a serious look at your stress coping mechanisms and skills are vital for success.
* Your medical conditions need to be reviewed and require stringent follow-up. The thyroid gland is associated with depression, headaches, obesity and arrhythmias of the heart.
* The role of lifestyle management is just as important as the medication you take. Do you get enough good quality sleep? Are you fuelling your body optimally to cope with this high workload and demand – the body is like any good car, it requires maintenance.
* I must also stress the value of regular exercise for destressing, but also as a distraction and for cardiac benefits.
There is light at the end of the tunnel
The issues you raise are not to be taken lightly, but are certainly not a death sentence.
The great news is that these features can be beaten and that the process of healing has already begun. It is fantastic that you have some insights into your weaknesses and have the guts to seek help. This speaks of hope and the overwhelming drive within you to succeed despite previous failures.
You will need to focus on the positive aspects in your life: family and friends who do care, safety and security, physical health and access to health care. And your ability to bounce back and try again.
- Cape Argus
* Dr Darren Green, a trusted figure in the field of media medicine, is a University of Stellenbosch graduate who adds innovative spark to health and wellness issues.
He is a regular guest on SABC3 and the Expresso show. Dr Green works as an emergency medical practitioner at a leading Cape Town hospital and completed four years of training as a registrar in the specialisation of neurology.
If you’ve got medical problems, contact the doctor at [email protected], 021 930 0655 or Twitter @drdarrengreen. Catch him in Cape Town 567 CapeTalk, most Fridays at 1.30pm.
Coping with stress
Worn out by juggling work and home? Stress consultant Monique Harrisberg suggests ways to cope.
* Create a balanced schedule: analyse your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. All work and no play is a recipe for burn-out. Try to find a balance between work and family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, daily responsibilities and down time.
* Don’t over-commit yourself: avoid scheduling things back-to-back or trying to fit too much into one day. All too often, we underestimate how long things will take. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “should” and the “must”. Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
* Try to leave earlier in the morning: even 10 to 15 minutes can make the difference between frantically rushing to your desk, and having time to ease into your day. Don’t add to your stress levels by running late.
* Plan regular breaks: make sure to take short breaks throughout the day to take a walk or sit and clear your mind.
Also try to get away from your work station for lunch. Stepping away from work to briefly relax and recharge will help you be more, not less, productive.
* Prioritise tasks: make a list of tasks you have to do, and tackle them in order of importance. Do the high-priority items first. If you have something particularly unpleasant to do, get it over with early. The rest of your day will be more pleasant as a result.
* Break projects into small steps: if a large project seems overwhelming, make a step-by-step plan. Focus on one manageable step at a time, rather than taking on everything at once.
* Delegate responsibility: you don’t have to do it all yourself. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control or oversee every little step. You’ll be letting go of unnecessary stress in the process.
* Be willing to compromise: when you ask someone to contribute differently to a task, revise a deadline, or change their behaviour at work, be willing to do the same. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. - Daily News
* Harrisberg is chief executive of The Voice and Stress Clinic.