Given that parliamentarians catch forty winks all the time, EFF’s protestations that “the Minister is asleep” may well be an innocuous statement.
It only achieved comic effect when the party’s Mbuyiseni Ndlozi pointed out: “And in that position, she’s gonna fall.”
Depending on which Human Resources (HR) manual one consults, the act of sleeping on duty variedly becomes a dismissible offence or one deemed not a gross dishonesty - unless one is a security guard, for instance, whose job demands that he be up and about, wide awake.
But since the advent of televised parliamentary debates, members of these august houses have been known to doze off and, for good measure, even snore.
Britain offers the best case study of MPs heading to slumber when they should be legislating.
In the first democratic parliament, no one has come to signify dozing off as much as the late Alfred Nzo, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, in the immediate post-apartheid government.
Newspaper cartoonists had stopped searching for material as the mere sight of Nzo taking his seat in the House of Assembly offered more than enough ideas for them to doodle.
Instead of his name, “Nzzzzzzzzzzz” would be emblazoned across their sketches, to much comic effect.
Most House debates can often degenerate into an energy-sapping diatribe and staying awake becomes Mission Impossible for most MPs.
But this was before the burst of the Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) on to the national psyche. Their arrival has meant there’s never a dull moment in Parly and it takes a really fatigued MP to risk a quick nap under the gaze of multiple cameras.
Dirco Minister Maite Nkoana-Mashabane risked it last Tuesday during the impeachment debate and EFF MP Ndlozi broadcast her lethargy to the cameras and the House at large.
Word has it aggrieved ANC members took umbrage and in solidarity with Nkoana-Mashabane called the whistle-blowers to “take it outside”while recriminations flew.
The belligerent Small Business Development Minister Lindiwe Zulu was reportedly the ring-leader of those spoiling for a fight with their EFF counterparts.
But with the decibels the EFF have added to the cacophony of debate in the House, the soft-spoken Nkoana-Mashabane’s energy levels must have been running really low to induce sleep. But she’ll be well advised to know she’s in fine company.
Robert Mugabe sleeps more in Parliament than in the regal bed at State House, but at the age of 92 he can be forgiven.
Certainly his loyal followers wouldn’t dare nudge him awake.If, like me, you’re fascinated by the story of Ruth First, you will know that the feisty fashionista and Communist, who was killed by a parcel bomb in Mozambique in 1982, was a Sleeping Beauty personified.
In his 1999 book Rivonia’s Children (Jacana), Glenn Frankel writes: “From the beginning Ruth was a minority within a minority: a left-wing radical in a right-wing country, a white person in a black liberation movement and a woman in a male-dominated world.
“She felt she always had to be better, smarter and faster than her male comrades.
“To outsiders she projected great personal strength and self-confidence, even arrogance. But those who knew her better saw that the facade covered a profound sense of vulnerability.
“Despite her writing skills, her formidable intellect and her prominent place in the movement, she always felt the need to prove herself.
“In gatherings of comrades, she spoke in great crescendos of words, as if to vanquish self-doubt from the room.
“Even her most seemingly arrogant habits took on different meaning when viewed by friends. She often fell asleep at the tediously intricate meetings that were a communist hallmark.
“Those who did not know her saw this as rudeness; those who did understood that the sleepiness was the result of her hyperthyroid condition.”
A simple Google search of the symptoms of hyperthyroid disease lists fatigue or muscle weakness and trouble sleeping among them.
There is no diagnosis of what ails Minister Nkoana-Mashabane, if anything at all. But surely being mentioned in the same breath as the stylish Ruth First can’t be such a bad thing, regardless of what the opposition may think!
But a constant traveller like her is likely to miss proper sleep - and doze off at awkward moments.
You will, of course, be familiar with the story of how a Ugandan TV station was banned from covering live parliamentary debates.
What was their sin, you ask?
Party apparatchiks in Kampala accused the NTV broadcasters of an indiscretion worse than sin.
They chastised them for “lack of professionalism and biased reporting”. This for showing President Yoweri Museveni snoozing during parliamentary debates!
At 72, Museveni, who seized power in 1986, is no spring chicken and the propaganda notwithstanding, he will be caught nodding off - if not now, then many times during his term in office.
Dennis Katungi, whose duty it is to spin for government, reportedly told a foreign news agency: “The president has habits, he meditates and they know it, and still they go out and say he was sleeping.”
The suspension should not be permanent. It’s temporary, to make them think.”
The suspension, surely even Katungi should know, is no cure for hypersomnia. At his age, he will find it increasingly difficult to stay awake even as another government spin doctor said of the TV station: “We have suspended their coverage of the president as we reconsider our relationship with them.”
Writing in HR Pulse, an online industry newsletter, expert Peter McDermott says the following:”Sleeping on duty should be addressed in your company’s disciplinary code and procedure.
“Apart from adversely affecting productivity, it may also be dangerous in circumstances where the offender’s duty is to be alert and prevent hazardous situations, or to protect people or property.
“It also projects an unprofessional appearance and blackens the company’s name.
“Some are lenient and have even adopted a formal power-nap policy and improved productivity. Others are strict and employ high-tech means, such as video surveillance and constant supervision, to weed out offenders. It is a growing trend among certain organisations to allow their employees a formal nap time to counteract stress and lethargy. These power naps seem to help employees to be more alert, energetic and productive.
“Whether the offence was intentional or unintentional, it remains an act of misconduct, subject to a disciplinary inquiry. If the incident or its potential fall-out is found to be severe and the employee is found guilty at such an inquiry an offender may even be dismissed.”
But these rules can only apply to the common man, not Robert Mugabe. On his recent trip to Japan, he was photographed standing next to Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.The shot went viral on social media, which showed him with his eyes tightly shut.
To all and sundry he was sleeping on his feet. To the Zimbabwean authorities, he was just nodding, in agreement, to Abe’s statement. Upon his return home, Mad Ol’ Bob threatened to shut down social media and set up controlled State sites.
To sleep or not to sleep?
That is the question.
Sunday Independent